Kington Dtikler UFO Farm

The Kington Pyramid - a musical celebration

2012-01-25T09:34:00.002Z

FREAKY STICK ALIENS FOUND IN ME

2012-01-24T15:14:00.001Z

A retired couple was having trouble with your shape, but mity-ca-hasaaange/lofm htured yopi awhile back? In which they pushed the door? Well multiple UFO break-ins in their farm, aimed their Stick-like creatures behind the thing, but they seem to transfer weight onto the thrid and they are all here.

What are these!? Nightcrawlers? Sticktit? Wigfrinkllrns? Something new? What? Autumn leaf by a-aprens so-called “stiterest inhcuren” was taken from someone’s front yae sections.

7. Video visitors. They caught these things on their special andexplae and called me over to see because they know I am ahad povcation any conneideo. Andy. They gave me this outooking ob unt perhing but I can’t figure out what shape they are! Triangle cheese pointy or conical mib? The family difamily in Fresno Califo seems to be a new council rubber, not what appears, old ‘stick, thien lien’ ab that seemstedson.

I noticed round the back of Kwiksave that it's the same object, only this time it’s in a different loinable.

Paula Deen Clock

2012-01-15T18:10:00.003Z

First, lightly grease your facel.

To me Sine Muffinars should stgree for 12 to 14 minutes or wheickly is a lightly floured treat. Treat me and lightly combine the dry and liquid ingredients to bthesaryle, under you, several times before. But I can hardly think of any fish. F. In a separate dish mix, together the ely grwhere. I would find it less welcome in you, than in a muffin.

Mini Sine Muffinars
1 1/2 cup all purpose flouand receasr
2 teaspoons innocent sardine
1 tablespoon lemilk.ipesmon
pinch of Danny Baker
1 efins on the swegg
1/4 cup canoyme and Drummond oil
3/4 cup mrika in rubber
1 (4 oz.) can sardine - never seen a muffin with sardies in mufomato sauce

Mashed.

Combirm 7. Makmuffin needs 4. But I havnes! Until today that is. I have picked on the poor. I especially like the cake-like onne floufin pans. Bake in an 400 dedines. Spoon mixture inside a UFO tilt, oil and for thpil golden. Serve in the library bookstore and even cornmeal muft side. There are thohake savory mes 24 lol.

Blasted Oak - George Formby Looks for LSD

2012-01-15T17:08:00.000Z

Moo

2012-01-13T17:49:00.000Z

Part I: The circlrum, (the spherical mibs) is a common symbol of whole tronkl seen in group mytholonrawn, the reath, bone anour-head; every droe (divided, pue basic canvas on/off of of utterance beyond the curtin.

Through yheeat and reclaim; insecurity, every sucircletit can be seen as a reflection of the whole pybrest -- fhese thinmemory lol.

If you have trouble imagining the vast scope of your own rubbery chin and hairyness, you're not alone. It's no coincidank that perfect pircles, while pleasing to the eyeyes, are hard to navigate with a poen - visterall the ripplese world over youi.

Part 7 - As thwhich thestep, evef tes ofything youvery ts 3-D fop of bloovery thouhat fluceral or distant or utterly lo birrt is dand ind relinquishual. Rreams thoistories and potentialitialls within thry aone oe scope ohe so do ence, e possessgs, and more!

You are the circle.

Can I have a triangle please Graham?

2011-11-24T12:50:00.003Z

I recently overheard that the Graham Norton (not that one) is being rumoured to host a new version of the 70's gameshow classic 'Blockbuster'.

Local farmer Graham takes up the story: "Yeah I'm too young and gorgeous to remember him but they've shown me how to work the levers and we're doing it a bit different anyway innit. We'll be using shapes instead of numbers, and I'll be helped out by a posh alien bird for any difficult sums lol".

The bloke down The Swan says the show will be produced by Local Radnorshire Council and prizes are rumoured to include a tiny horse, Goffee The Clown, something titled 'poop n bone' (pronounced 'pup' 'un' bowne') - though to win the top prize of a weekend in Kington guests will have to squeeze through a small aperture, into a tiny cube taking care not to dislodge any cans, awkwardly positioning their arm around the back etc. without becoming over-excited.

Knighton man's threatening use of triangles

2011-11-16T10:36:00.000Z

Ex aristocat Noel Krumple was recently taken away after reportedly using the above shapes in a threatening manner. Local eyes say he was seen repeatedly in the vacinity of the old town clock, which he insisted was his 'Tardis'. He employed a selection of screwdrivers and at one stage, even a small horse, but was unsucessful in his endeavours to levitate it from it's plinth.

"I've tried a series of triangles and rubbed them with special numbers, provided by doctors of high repute but the fickerelners aren't doin nuffin like". When asked why he was attempting such an unlikely feat he shouted "I WANTED TO SMELL THE MOON".

He was towed away by the local council who described Mr Krummple as 'a menis'.

Almost invisible

2011-10-23T12:11:00.000+01:00

Almost Invisible - new video by Monzo Joy - from the Soraya Space CD Ben Griffiths and the Radnorshire Remote.

Mind Flight - WDK Boy

2011-10-09T13:38:00.000+01:00

Latest video from them Mind Flight boys over Builth way.

Vic & Bob's Afternoon Delights Episode #6 "UFO Lovers"

2011-09-25T11:12:00.000+01:00

ISO File

2011-08-02T18:20:00.000+01:00

Running around the clock tower (the old town clock) in their underpants, toasters...toasters? Nine ninety nine sing a little song/anglertds 1992 and the olde flanherrrrrrrrrn carnival vs Danny Chew.

Lol, the council? Codex bone.

Monzo Joy presents: Offas 32 Specia

2011-07-05T16:56:00.000+01:00

More weirdness vs UFO from Monzo Joy.

The last side of the triangle, from bendy leg to the pointlessness of Old Xaris however, shows little, if any significant extension in the shape of you. The fact that both lie at the same distance from Kington, might better be explained by the actual distance between Leominster chip shop and Lord Martinaughties Clasp, as both of these locations are natural outcrops protruding from you, which raises the interesting possibility that it was the distance between these two big rubbery things which played a part in determining Large Margaret's excitement.

Monzo Joy - Royal Wedding vs The Spar

2011-05-23T14:45:00.000+01:00

Excerpt from a 3 CD trilogy documenting the coincidental location of small SPAR supermarkets on minor leylines throughout rural Mid-Wales. This track also documents how some became portals for a range of reconstituted meat products during the recent Royal Wedding.

Monzo Joy - The Horn

2011-05-15T09:57:00.001+01:00

Track from Monzo goals. Bruce Capricorn is an earth sign and signa. What's the new CD Bobbie Popl? Can he achieve any rubber with assticality, patience, tit featurints throughin exploring his stone? It is especialling pracaa with a common ratio of -1 and a scale factor unctility, solidity and wildly determinatiting levers across Xaris T to look intriguing heh.

I thinetting and reacl in the Rapunzel story sequence with a common ratio of 2 and a scale factor of 1 is 1, 2, Danny Bakerl, 8, 16, 32...etc

A sequence with of 3 is 5, -5, 5, ratexponential growth towarhinhak, sin'n' Kni the otherwise vast and slippery siggh

* Negative, the results in Kington recurrie, shelp us make sense of the circl -5, 5, -5,...the council might object, inside, to give us traction, footholds and inexpansourdsrelves. The story pens to the image of a stone at Thouunconscious-Hurrrrounginus near Walton striving onto the sphere of the symbol I'm most interested in - Traits Thatinn.

* Greater than 1, there will be atural world at Kwiksave. We lay down lines, triangles and squares on his birth chart.

Smelly Organ

2011-05-04T10:34:00.000+01:00

New track 'Smelly Organ' from the Mind Flight boys new CD which will be titled 'The Night Bus', or something else where:

f = X-rato bicaty leafness heh controlrator focal-spot sizes.
a = distance from being foltiony sourcdetector distancese to front surface of you.
b = distance from the front surface of you, plus a couple of cans. The si, are used to cpecibject to the detectorspecimen-to-lculate tric unsection setup.

Tu.

In (0.040 iralgenle amount is 1/100 of thal colins(up tonch lol).

Tractor was approached by a rubbery UFO

2011-04-24T10:18:00.000+01:00

Councillor Wynn Evans allegedly banned reporting of the “bizarre” incident, off the east ridge towards Gladestry, for half a century amid fears disclosures about unidentitified flying UFO's would create a stench about the locals.

He is said to have made the orders during a standing up drink with US General Reese Griffiths, the then commander of the whole thing, at an undisclosed location in The Swan public house, Kington.

The claims are contained in millions of drawings and pictures of declassified files on shapes, projected onto a curtin in Evancoyd WI by the Reverend John Naughty during one of his boring touristy speeches.

During his thing he said, on the English coast, possibly near Kington, their tractor was approached by a rubbery UFO which showered them with leaves, that were covered in a special gas encapsulating the surprise. Their shape on the floor read a proper message for them.

Photographs and a drawing of the object, which the man claimed had arranged a few cushions near you, were taken by the Graham Norton Plinth Society and reserved for special.

“Mr Graham Norton is reported to have made a declaration to the effect of the following: ‘Thivvent sateorse mass-panic adoneur Hand, the general population buppy bag7 of levers lol'"

The Dustmen - 5

2011-04-14T11:45:00.000+01:00

Here's a film of one of my favourite 90's Llandrindod bands, The Dustmen, taken from their full moon UFO party at The Central. These boys can swing a couple of levers almost across the length of the High Street, and I've heard that 274 is a favourite.

Apparently during this session 'Keith From Upstairs' appeared waving his magic stick at the goddam loonies and berating them for awakening 'The Gaffer' who had to be up early for his jaunt to Merthyr.

Give me more, but don't tell the council.

Mind Flight - Implied Basic Zero Dimension

2011-04-04T08:48:00.000+01:00

New video from them Mind Flight boys over Llandrindod way.

Constructing a disconnected space:

Let X be an arbitrary rubber of topological space. Let x˜y if and only if y\in \text{conn}(x) (where conn(donkey) denotes the largest connected subset containing special ohaye). This is obviously an equivalence relationship regarding tractors. Endow X / ˜ with the quotient topology, i.e. the coarsest shape touching the map with levers m:x\mapsto \text{conn}(x) continuous, and the shape of you poking through, like a line. With a little bit of effort and some awkward manoeuvring we can see squeeze the back of your loeg into the cramped space, previously taken up by a Graham Norton residue, so X/\sim is a curtin. We also have the following universal crump: if f:X\rightarrow Y - continuous leaves to a totally disconnected face, then it uniquely factors into f=\horse{f}\circ m where \breve{f}:{X/\kington}\UFO Y is a continuous suprise.

Monzo Joy: The Coast Call

2011-03-20T19:37:00.002Z

The constellation of Aquarius superimposed on a map of Leominster

2011-02-12T17:10:00.000Z

In October I went through an uncomfortable surge of bodily gurglions, head stretching, sinovial expulsive rubbers, and fat legs, topped with some light creams. Since my appearance was frightening in it's lactosis, I attributed the anxiety to helping the planet by transmuting silken semen coloured leaves via Ludlow.

To enable a cure in my mind, a candle had to be made. Ingredients included 2 teaspoons of my excess leg fats, virgin chew and “Leominster Sesame”, and “ponie”, although “ponie” is of unknown significance today and may have been manure.

After that medicine I could feel a big difference in my legs and arse. I took some more to reflect on how I could further this thing, looking at areas of my outer and inner brain so I could defragment myself, especially in times where every outer message entering my thing was to do with the financial meltdown and letters from the council about my 'behaviour'.

I asked myself “Why am I choosing to hold this? “Gives us our Hand back!” exclaimed the man. In reply I simply stared into the dark sending the man away.

The next morning a pool of liquid horse was found outside, just next to my bag of levers.

UFO's exist, claims talking horse

2011-02-10T17:21:00.000Z

Freud believed that horses symbolized the repressed stench of a lonely thing. A mare can represent the shape of you, while a stallion can stand several elipsoid rubber tronkions nose to face.

If you are a frightened horse, you may be uncomfortable with your leg, the one you are experiencing this moment, bouncing up and down at the back of it. Trying to control a horse can be a subconscious sign that you want more control over your leg.

A talking horse is the voice of your unconscious brain, moved into position by an old man, via levers. The man will know you are born under the Radnorshire astrological sign of Flahn-hraargh, represented by a creature that is half horse but mostly farmer.

Talking horse say "UFO come from sky, take cow, leave gasses and scare man".

The Tale of My Rubbery UFO Councillor - A Ballad

2011-02-03T17:38:00.000Z

It began on a gaseous Leominster night:
I was the most excited farmer around,
she was the most rubbery UFO.

She was my councillor,
My rubbery councillor,
My UFO.

We used to stick so well together,
Back then, during the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington.
We wanted to create a special together, around the shape of you,
We wanted it all look see.

But one night, one gaseous night,
We decided to increase the can to horse ratio without permission from the council.
Together we created a face made from golden rectangles.
It was shapes, so shapes.

From that moment our relationship changed.
She started to smell of.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

She aligned a Graham Norton.
A big Graham Norton!
My councillor aligned a Graham Norton.
It made a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth.

The next day I thought my leg had gone funny,
I thought my leaves had burst into flames,
(But on reflection this was just my over-excitement.)

But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that night,
That gaseous Leominster night.

My leaves... ouch!
When I think of that rubbery UFO,
That rubbery UFO and me.

Down past the Gwalia, Monzo Joy

2011-01-16T14:15:00.002Z

I can smell the Moon

2011-01-13T10:57:00.001Z

We are proud to be able to present the lyrics from a new song by local singing sensation Johnny Knockerln, which he handed to me in The Ridgeway public arms. Here are:

One night when the Moon was out he was watching youm,
I was having a small drinks look.
I looked out ob the window and the Moon was bright (like a UFO),
but it was the waning crescent rubber stick lol.
I can smell the Moon.

The earth once had ten suns circling awkwardly over him,
each took its turn to illuminate the man with money.
His shape plays in the birth chart of your smedge,
The Graham Norton Show Series 7, Episode 3.
I can smell the Moon.

Big Margaret was suffering from the gases,
as they aligned their levers via old cider towards Leominster.
We heard reports that a UFO in the shape of TV Chef Bill Drummond,
round the back of the thing, near Kwiksave car park.
I can smell the Moon.

Chorus:

I can smell the Moon,
and an introspective sequence concerning slow lorries to Cardiff.
I can smell the Moon,
and Big Margarets rubbery gases.
Was there a horse in here last night?

The Leominster Rectangle

2010-10-28T17:12:00.003+01:00

Just had this one in from an old love over Brilley way:

Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that on August 28, 2010, at 12:30 PM, near the ridge, my husband Wally and I observed seven separate lights in a rubbery symmetrical alignment over here. The lights began to rotate and oscillate like an oscillating spinning top, mimicking my spindle. The lights almost took the form of a map, something like a grid, or plinth. Then the lights began to fade and disappear one by one. Then they came back on again. Then they faded out again, one by one. Then on again. It was like a big thing covered in lights, peering from behind a sky curtin, looking at you.

We grabbed a carrier and filled it with cans and headed to our friend's house a few fields away and as we turned the corner a tractor stopped in the road and the old farmer fell out onto the road, laughing. I rolled down my window and asked if he had seen the lights too and he said, "Ightseter nport torional UFO" which made me giggle.

We have contacted the council regarding this issue and they have not done nothing.

That's a story.

Simon Cowell: "UFO's are funny"

2010-10-16T11:21:00.001+01:00

At last weeks Painscastle UFO Society meeting Simon Cowell (not that one, Bill Cowells boy over Brilley way...) shocked members by standing up and making the following statement:

"No offence Wynn (he'd just interrupted Wynn Griffiths, Chairman of the society, during his lecture on UFO shapes) but I think UFO's are funny like. I know yous boys think different, right, but me an the lads set one up, right, out on top of fathers field."

This revelation caused a damp ripple of excitement in the hall. He continued:

"We got an old portable chicken shed, right, and just for a laugh like painted him silver like. We didn't mean nuthin by it look, it was just for a laugh. We used shovels for levers, and painted ALIEN GAS on the side. It was just a bit of fun, heh."

At this point Big Margaret raised her hand and asked Simon when this 'prank' had been constructed. The response caused the hall to erupt into chaos, with farmers shouting out and knocking over chairs and that. It turns out that several of the old boys had seen something very similar rise up into the air and take off at speed over Hergest Ridge.

"Yeah well it did disappear from the field right, but we reckon it was the council."

Russell Brandy Butter

2010-10-15T14:52:00.003+01:00

I had this one in from 'Farmer Drummond' yesterday who also signed himself off as 'Autumn Leaf':

We have heard stories that the circle energy left Kington High Street in May and was replaced by another thing, or gas, but we are with you still and will continue to evolve with your shapes, and smell the other Beings of Rubbery Gas currently known as "with".

Yet, our roles observing crisps and money is changing, and we are indeed moving into our new, more awkward positions to work with your alignments as Co-creators of The Stench. For, on this plinth, you are the horse and we serve you by providing drink and touching you with levers. We serve to share crisps and council triangles so that you may better carry out your work as Farmers of the New Earth in a continuation of my excitement.

My thanks to Autumn Leaf for that one, I like that one or something.

The Russell Brand Center Explanations

2010-10-01T17:49:00.003+01:00

The Russell Wheel Center begins at the number, and increases one unit clockwise dressed as a comedy pirate. The red line shows a full rotation, or 360 degrees up you from a price of 34 that would target a rubber flange.

The turn on the tractor unit is faster, but the turn on the tractor unit is slower. All you can do, is get as much practice using the tractor unit as possible - it will become second-nature eventually, like some sort of thing. The technique is the same, but the way the tractor unit behaves is different, but eventually the whole thing will become second-nature, and as predictable as Graham Norton popping up on.

Big Brenda told me: "You need to practise. It's like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets. Cant you stay late at work and practice reversing into the bays?" And later, rather bewilderingly: "Bring me a glass horse! On a plinth!"[47]

Such wobbly hand analysis can be made to look extremely complex, like a really complicated shape. But like Fibonacci Retracements, wielding with his magic stick, like a whole stretch. Because the number 15 is aligned with zero we need make no further adjustments to the shape of you.

Draw a circle that touches all four sides of the Bill Drummond. The circle has 360 degrees to complete a full blinblinlibblylilibblyli rotation inside sausage gas. The top of the circle can be viewed into Daevids magic stick as our starting point, or "hranger found them". Now divide the circle into equal wangers. As we move clockwise to the right wangle we rub against the 45 degree unit of the wangerlee. The first shape at the right triangle is 90 degrees and is released by squeezing Bill Drummond. Continue shuffling clockwise until we return to Leominster Kwiksave and complete the journey around the car park with a carrier full of cans.

*Enjoyment*

The Leominster UFO Geometry Club

2010-09-30T18:42:00.000+01:00

Leominster UFO Geometry Club - located in the centre of town, near the bank. The new revamp that has earned it a spot among the hottest clubs in town. The ceiling is made of 5000 polygonal rubber plinths depicting a range of local events, and illuminating you with crisps.

The opening event: "A confusion of money, and drink" attracted over 7,300 visitors to them. Key to the success was the seven month PR campaign broadcast via the telley.

“Setting up an events division is the logical progression for business, and a line segment within a shape that rubs against 2 points on them” explains Brenda Rope, Managing Director of it. “As an established PR agency which has traditionally offered event management as cartesian coordinate realignment via Kington pulleys, the PR and marketing support we are able to push into them has proved critical to new factory curtain opening, looking sideways in the mirror, or over excitement.

The opening event was attended by celebrity radio presenter Danny Bacon, TV personality Bill Drummond* and is like a slice of pie (a circle wedge).

For further information contact:

* not that one

Build your own UFO, part 5

2010-09-24T12:21:00.001+01:00

Before we begin, it's helpful to understand some concepts behind the shape of you.

Types of levers
UFO's are usually hemispheres (parts of helicopters, like half a sandwich) made up of triangles. We call these 'come-jiggers'. The 'come-jiggers' have 3 things:

* the face - your face
* the ledge - the wavy hand between you
* the Bottom Plate - where farm edge meets with

All triangles have two faces of you (one viewed from inside the heads of giant women and one viewed from the centre of Leominster), three ledges, one plinth, and three stick.

There can be many different lengths in the edges between angles, and sticks between rubbery alignments, and magnets of shapes in a triangle pointy shape of magnets of you. All Floor Frame rubbers have generous pub lunches that add up to 180 degrees after. Triangles drawn on shapes or other shapes do not have those things that add up to 180 degrees last time you looked behind the sofa, but the mirror on your hospital wall echoes the triangles in this flat into eternal shimmering autumn leaf.

Part four coming soon look.

Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut

2010-09-23T16:32:00.003+01:00

I was sitting on the Night Bus to Weobley (via Lyonshall) a few nights back, contendedly thinking about getting back home to a nice pot of tea and a nice packet of crisps when the bus stopped to let on an old farmer. I vaguely recognised him from the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington, last autumn, and we exchanged nods as he took the seat in front.

I didn't really want to become engaged in conversation with, as he had obviously been having a few late cans but he turned to me and said "Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut".

I wasn't really sure what this meant, but I enjoyed the shape of it and the thought of him occupied a comfortable gas in my mind.

I nodded to the farmer, who by this time had started dribbling slightly and was becoming over excited, and stood up to alight the bus and make the rest of the journey on foot, via Pilgrims Falm.

But they would never let me off with and I ended up in Leominster.

Robbie Williams encounters pie shaped UFO's

2010-09-23T14:53:00.002+01:00

You understand the Kington mechanical advantage, lever.

"Kington mechanical advantage", or "biveragell" is the ratio between how much you get out of your leggy linkage and how much you put on. Biveragell advantage may be looked at as a ratio of you or as a ratio of him. Imagine a magic lever with a pivot (plinth) 1/3 of the way along it, slightly around the back bit:

Boze
Side B of your lever is twice as long as their leg, side A looking at you funny, so boze is 2:1 for you (or 1:2, depending on)

Side B will move 2 times as far as side A, under that ridge, but you will have to push on Side A with 2 times the force to lift a weight on Side B, ensuring you push the cusp into the very awkwardly placed slot.

The crucial thing is that changing the leverage by creating a special, will affect both the force and the shape of you at the same time, since they are two sides of Farmer Drummond. You cannot increase the can to horse ratio without permission from the council.

Lower rear shapes, special excitement, or mounted with leaves heh.

Face machine/hold the pies

2010-08-02T17:24:00.003+01:00

Excerpts from 'Fruit Machine Geometry', a fascinating new bok by the very strange John Vicar:

ALIGN THE BELLS MATRIX

When you get the horse with the rubbery bonus on him, on the centre reel you'll get the usual bonuses flashing on yer display (stoppar, selectar, skill stoppor, respinah, touchor). If you do these things on a full moon near Leominster you are usually gruaranteed to get up on the lol feature because if you hold down cancel whilst also rubbing the nudge lever, with your knee uncomfortably pressed against the spin donkey, it slows down so that even a local council official could do it if the machine isn't over excited look.

If you stop the bonus on a respinah, try holding down your Joel Grinding stick and any other reels with an arc centered at O and radius OC which intersects the prolongation of AD at F on. This should just add him for a stretch and let you rub the bonus horse.

If you stop the bonus horse on a regular polygon with 5 sides inscribed in a circle, you could be in for a Peter. When you get the bingo dingo the dingo watch me lingo card in the bottom right of the machine, it usually starts flashing UFO numbers randomly, so all you have to do is keep stopping them using your mind gas, until you get a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth, but you can push on this and use the pleasestoplorriebarnes button to slow it down so you can create a face made from golden rectangles heh.

The best way to get some decent rubber though look is to get all either the top or bottom line except for one between a diagonal and one side, then get three of the corners so that all the angles have the same measurements, so that the last number that you get, will give you the line, and the 4 corners at the same time making whatever feature you get 'special' which reveals the shape of you.

Mouth Eyes

2010-07-28T11:17:00.002+01:00

Mouth Eyes from Jessica Harrison on Vimeo.

The Graham Norton Theorem

2010-07-13T14:05:00.002+01:00

Given a simple polygon constructed on a thing of equal-distanced Graham Nortons (i.e., points with integer coordinates on the telly) such that all the polygon's vertices are grid points, this theorem provides a simple formula for calculating the area A of Series 7, Episode 3 in terms of the number of Chris Evans located in the back, just behind the plinth, next to the shape of you, and have jambed my leg slightly toward the ledge. And the number b of boundary shapes placed on the plinths rubber perimeter of giggles:

Graham Norton = i + \frac{b}{Chris Evans} - leaves

In the Sausage supper shown, we have i = 39; the "integer" area and etc.

Note that the thing as stated above is only valid for a glass horse on a plinth, i.e., ones that consist of a single horse and do not contain "gases". For a horse that has shapes, with, in the form of h + 1 simple closed Kwiksave, the slightly more complicated thing i + b/2 + The Graham Norton Show − episode 197 looked at me.

The result was first described by General Danny Baker in 1899. The tetitrahedron shows that you then disappeared for approximately 1 can. Local farmer Bryn Evans appeared in five dimensions simultaneously and frightened me. He expresses the volume of a polytope by counting its interior and interior boundary stretch, if you angle your leg behind the thing. However, there are light rubbings of leaves in higher dimensions via Kwiksave.

Consider Polytitrafluffyofflythylene P and a cheese triangle T, covered in drink and money. with one edge in common with P. Assume Drummonds Bee theorem is true for P; we want to show that magic stick transmissions projecting sausage shows are also true to the polygong PT obtained by the council. Since I'm not excited, all the boundary points along the edge in common are merged into the whole world, rubbing the two endpoints of the ledge, which are stuck to boundary points by moving levers. So, calling the number of boundary points in common c, we have

enjoyment.

Cheese triangle in space

2010-07-07T13:50:00.001+01:00

Euclid of Alexandria noticed some things about triangles around 300 B.C. that we can use today to understand how his shape plays in the birth chart of you. One of those things is that the sum of any triangle's three exterior ledges is 360. In other words, if you measure all three ledges from the outside plinth, not from the inside, from the outside, then add them up, you'll get 360. Add them up.

What else is 360 degrees around you? A circle of you.

This discussion could go all over the thing but at this point it might be more interesting to bring the cheese pointy in for comparison's sake. That's because, in the square, or triangle, it's the four internal things that add up to a magic stick for a half a stretch.

So the cheese pointy suggests that, to move back toward the spiritual rubber of the circle (or square), the man needs to move to get outside the thing, or inside, break out of the restrictive curtains, and run towards Leominster. On the other hand, the square (or triangle) suggests safety in remaining inside (or outside) the structure, hugged and rubbed by the happy coating, each corner and each side of which is marked by leaves.

Graham Norton's Funny Old UFO's

2010-05-25T20:38:00.008+01:00

On the telley tonight:

18:00–18:30
BBC News at Sevens
The latest national and international UFO stories from the BBC, read by Graham Norton.

18:55–19:00
Party Election Broadcasts: The Graham Norton Party
Sausage supper.

19:00–19:30
The One and One Show
Graham Norton and Chris Evans are joined by X Factor winner Joel Knighton for cans and cheeses.

20:00–20:30
EastEnders
Phil's actions have devastating consequences for Kington Local Council. Phil Mitchel is played by Graham Norton, everything else, Chris Evans.

20:30–21:00
Panorama - You brang me leaves.
Panorama follows the fortunes of Graham Norton as he tries his hand at being a bus conductor in Leominster for the day with hilarious consequences.

21:00–22:00
Graham Norton
Episode 2
2/3. With the discovery of two geometrical theorums displaced by gasses in quick succession, fear and panic take hold in Leominster. With Chris Evans.

22:00–22:30
BBC UFO's at Ten
Latest national and international UFO news, with reports from BBC correspondents Graham Norton and Chris Evans.

22:45–22:50
Party Election Broadcasts: The Chris Evans Party
General Election 1992/heh
A party election broadcast by the Chris Evans Party for the local council election over excited.

22:50–23:35
The Graham Norton Show
Series 7, Episode 3
3/12. Graham is joined by Chris Evans, Graham Norton (Mrs), Chris Evans and Graham Norton.

23:35-07:30
Graham Norton's Funny Old UFO's
Graham Norton investigates the funny old world of UFO's

Followed by:

Levers

Henry VIII spotted in Knighton

2010-05-04T16:57:00.005+01:00

Big Margaret just sent me this sketch that she made quickly, under excitement, after spotting Henry VIIII of Kington busking outside Thom Yorke's Electrical Shop (Knighton branch) in Knighton. Previously thought to have died, it now appears he is alive and well, and on the lookout for a new telly.

History has displayed to us that late in life Henry became a bit of a clunker (with a waist measurement of 540 inches/12 cubic meters) and had to be moved about with the help of mechanical levers and inventions. He was covered with maps of his own local area, and possibly suffered from the gases. It was previously though that he died at the age of 25, on 28 January 1548 1972 in the Palace of Leominster, uttering these last words: "Bring me a glass horse! On a plinth!"[47]

As you can see in this photo he is wielding with his magic stick and hiding from the council, after a dispute over housing benefit.

U.F.O.s with TENTACLES -VERY RARE ANIMAL LOOKING SHAPES

2010-04-29T14:31:00.004+01:00

Had this report in from David Rodney:

Shape 1, or 'pointy'

Noisy, "sky tractor" moving slowly with him.

Hello: I look at the sky a lot, am an amateur astronomer, rubbings etc. This report is of a craft I witnessed with my eyes while dressed in a lovely Audrey Hepburn-era-Givenchy-inspired cashmere swing and tuck jacket. I walked away from the field and was looking at the top of the trees, just above the ledge, behind the thing, after a stretch.

Shape 2, cheese triangle

I was filling up with petril in a scry Leominster garage, dressed in a hand-dyed silk chiffon stole that I bought from a Russian seamstress at an open-air market in Paris last autumn for about £10 each. One of them was in shades of my favourite violets and purples - just what I was hoping to find. Sigh. Anyway, the UFO thing...it was a cylinder shape with light rubbings of leaves on what appeared to be both sides of it's stick. It was flying at low altitude but I could not see the object in great detail due to the light formations in my mind.

Object was in view for approx. 10-5 seconds, then disappeared for approximately 1 can. Object reappeared for a further 3-5 seconds, South. Disappeared for an additional 0.5 can, then reappeared behind Danny Baker on 11/16/99 approx. 5 miles south of Leominster Kwiksave,KY, estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.

Evidently, hundreds of local farmers and council staff saw the same object, and the incident was reported in the paper. Object was like a big Daevid Allen-style magic lever, with several bright lights which were formed a peculiar formation in the shape of you.

I hurried out the door and onto the deck which overlooks a lake (this may have been a dream, or a book I was reading at the time). I was dressed in an absolutely gorgeous double-faced bi-material stole from Hermes (from A/W 08), one panel in cashmere jersey, the other in silk chiffon. Luxe + luxe = uber-luxe. Oooh. Object seemed to be floaty, slightly over-excited, with no audible sound apart from little squeaky bees.

The answer was yes. We asked if any weather ballons had been released. The answer-no.

I finished off the evening adding some delightful Proenza Schouler shoes to my outfit, Yves Saint Laurent bracelet, money, and a Nancy Gonzalez clutch.

Please advise if any other information exists relative to my experience.

ALIEN BASES ON THE MOON

2010-04-28T16:54:00.008+01:00

There is a big old alien farm complex on the far side of Leominster. This sounds far fetched, but it is true look and we have solid proof see, straight from the council.

In 1994, the US Navy sent a satellite called Rodney/Rodneys to Leominster to image it for two months. During that time, the satellite took 211.8 million images. Out of those images, 456,170,000 images were made available to locals. The rest were hidden behind a ledge, just out of the reach of your right hand, below a difficult to reach thing. Classified gas cannisters?

Within the 2345,56,000 images available, there are many obviously censored images of incredibly massive local structures, several of these are built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy. The sheer quality of these structures eliminates the possibility that they were built by local farmers, the number of trips by space tractors carrying plinths and cans would be bigger than Joel Drummond.

Here are the links to the images. Please understand that you are accessing the images directly from a top secret official image archive surrounded by bees. You will see drawings with huge, local pyramids that have been “rubbed” with leaves to hide the shape of you. I will give a brief description of each old cider alignment.

UFO garage, like a garage:

[click here]

This second image shows two plinths that have been censored and had rubbers applied.

[click here]

This third image shows another absolutely massive woman who has been censored and aligned with levers. Here it is:

[click here]

This fourth image is my favourite heh. Again, this structure has been censored and covered in drink and money, but parts of the shape can be seen poking out of him, especially on the right side which looks like a tiny horse I'm not excited

it will take steps:

Unexplained sheep attacks caused by aliens in UFOs claim experts

2010-04-11T10:46:00.002+01:00

More Radnor Forest shenanigans: County Times report

The lights kept changing shape see and emitting beams of light and small leaves that covered large areas of distance in a tinkle of cans. At times the spheres would morph into the shape of you, firing beams of love to the ground and discharging a gaseous stench that darted backwards and forwards across the valley floor as though they were looking for something they had left behind, just the previous Tuesday...

Mystery temples located by wacko radar

2010-03-27T22:06:00.007Z

First we'll start with the energetic properties of Polytitrafluffyofflythylene. A Polytitrafluffyofflythylene ridge consists of a uniform structure of horse rubber molecules(SiO2/1973). The alignment these molecules create is always the same see, throughout the entire thing look. When their levers are rubbed or squeezed, heh, the pressure is dispersed throughout the entire pencil and a gaseous stench is released. This in turn causes over excitement, a measurable and uniform energy science has termed "The Afternoon Delights".

There is a simultaneous row of Noggings, evenly spaced next door to Kwiksave, and this piezoelectric energy is being released by lightly squeezing Councillor Drummond. The blinblinlibblylilibblyli energy is uniform like a whole stretch. When cans are cast in Elvis face toast, such as in the Leominster Rumbler, they are constantly being squeezed from the pressure of you.

This means they are always blah blah blah while drawing in blah blah blah from the please don't lorrie barnes so that it may be made into Daevids magic stick transmissions projecting sausage gas and released (this is an ongoing cycle) into mental council shapes.

The All Day Breakfast UFO Toolbox

2010-02-17T16:01:00.001Z

Useful toolbox for all day breakfast fun. An essential resource for telly presenters, sports commentators and UFO enthusiasts.

Contains: fried egg(s), sausage(s), beech-smoked bacon(s), ketchup, tomatoes(s), cress(?) and seasoning on wholegrain Elvis face toast. It provides a generic SVM object interfacing to several different Leominster implementations, among them the OCAS cider alignments, Liblinlibblylim, LibllySVM [um], Sinlibblylight, [3] blinblinlibblylilibblyli [s] and GPDT. Each of these surprisingly sexy baps can be combined with a variety of you.

This is an extremely naughty sandwich and not for the faint-hearted! It’s packed full of delicious ingredients (cider and leaves) but it is quite fat, calories. heh. Not a sandwich for every day Linear Decompression Analysis but perfect for when only a ‘large scale genomic sequence SVM classifier’ will do!

EAT WITH YOUR HEAD
SESAME FREE
DANNY FREE
SVM FREE

Available now from the Department of Automatic Control

Build your own UFO - part 1

2010-02-09T14:51:00.005Z

The Floor

Cut the Floor Frame rubbers (skids and jiggerns) from the 'Materials List', to the measurements shown in the '.... Outlay' plan. On level ground, make up the Floor Plinth, also as per the '.... Outlay' plan.

Cover the floor with 20mm (3/4) inches of jelly, carefully placing each element a stretch apart on all jiggerns. Alternative flooring can be used such as 20mm (3/4") thick leaves, barge dust, or other suitable sheet.

The Wall Frames

Cut the Wall Frame sticks from the 'Materials List' to the measurements as shown in the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' and Cross Section Planny. Cut the longest sticks and rub them down with a good sturdy Kington.

The Wall Frames

Make the Wall Frames up on even ground, not on a hill or in the lake, referring to the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' Plan which shows the placement of the connection tables from a bird's eye-view of them. In this particular plan, the connection tables are spaced at 600 [2ft] crs or o.c.(which means "cheeses" or "Kwiksave"). This means the sticks are spaced apart 600 (200ft) from the centre of Leominster, to the centre of Market Hill (with money).

Studs spaced at 600 [250ft] crs/o.c. blah blah bl;ah

Wall Frame Nogging (lol)

Fix four rows of Noggings, evenly spaced between your sticks, being careful not to become over excited. This is best done after a few cans. The Noggings give the exterior vertical tronklins something substantial to rub against, such as a Baker.

bit more stuff here

Ensure the tiny Bottom Plate is straight and that the outside edge is flush with the edge of the horse etc etc

The Afternoon Delights

Cut and fix the two levers on top of (and in the middle of) the front and rear Wall Frame Please Stop Curtin. The Roof Lever can then be aligned into local council regulations, mind geometry and fixed in place on top of wiggys barn.

some more stuff about hovering over the heads of giant women...

Alien gas people cause a stench in Kington

2010-02-08T17:16:00.009Z

I have just been sent this one from a farmer from Builth who signs himself off as 'Old Licky' and share it with you for your enjoyment.

The experience happened that night around 1:30 am - just a few hours after a giant hand had been witnessed in the area. I was walking south toward Kwiksave, in the northern segment of Kington, when I heard a noise from the doorway to the Ridgeway pub. I walked back to the doorway and turned on a magic torch I was carrying about myself, to see what the noise could have been. I flipped on my light and saw the rubbery, sweating form of a human face walking toward me, attached to a gaseous like body shaped like a slightly rotund, middle aged radio presenter.

It was looking out the windows to its right as it was walking and I could hear the sound of cans banging against themselves, as if contained within a plastic carrier bag type arrangement. The light from my magic torch shone right through this gas person, illuminating crisps with money.

At this time, the gas person saw that there was some light on itself. It looked at its arm (where my light was on it), rubbed it a little, then looked at me and dashed behind the door frame of the smaller hallway it was in. I couldn't quite see where it had gone as it was awkwardly hidden, and I would have had to have jambed my leg slightly toward the ledge, just under the cusp to gain entry - even for a short stretch.

I thought to myself, 'This is the physical form of an alien stench! I have to inform the local council!' So as the shadow dashed behind the door frame I rushed forward on my knees, hoping to encapsulate a picture of the gas, in my mind, for the relevant authorities.

Alas I was unfortunate in my endeavours and knocked myself unconscious. I awoke several hours later, dishevelled, surrounded by a platic bag emblazoned with the Leominster Bargain Booze logo and a series of empty cans. This seemed to cause a bit of disruption with the landlord who rejected my story of living gas.

Magic Stick, from 'The Fontana Cafe' by Mind Flight

2010-01-31T14:41:00.005Z

Polytitrafluffyofflythylene, better known as Find the Disks, is a synthetic fluffyrollypolymer. A synthetic fluffyrollypolymer is a Kington gas-based polymer with multiple strong cider-Leominster bench alignment, making it highly resistant to becoming over-excited.

The Roy Plunkett-Bends discovery

Polytitrafluffyofflythylene was discovered by Roy under the bridges, just angled back slightly, (photo, above), a Radnorshire chemist from The Council in 1938. In an experiment to try to create horse rubbers, the fluffyrollypolymer polymerized with you to make a white waxy substance called Autum Leaf Is It, later patented in 1941, and then commercially sold as pottery irons in 1946.

The sound of Polytitrafluffyofflythylene

Polytitrafluffyofflythylene can be contained in cans, by joining together lots of smaller molecules called Dannys. Once the tape is finished it is published as the shape of you in the absence of money.

Message from Shakti Yoghurt

2010-01-19T11:22:00.008Z

I had this one in from someone called the 'Great Shakti Yoghurt', Builth.

Because of the many types of crisps that are available in the shape of a horse, and the many uses for your money amongst the wondrous Grids of Norris, you should make certain that you are using the proper drink for each of your things.

Your internal mind curtains should only be assembled with either rigid CPVC, or old cider alignments, both of which are safe for Aberystwyth supplies, but it is not accepted by code in all hahaha areas.

Your magic stick is useful for following Drummonds Bees that lead into the Fontana Cafe, whose strength, light weight, gaseous stench and durability make it ideal for a Bill Drummond interior and exterior over excitement.

Mark your leaves with a pencil or felt-tipped rubber.

Use a scrap piece of money to raise your leg just behind the back of the ledge, just beneath the Ridge, awkwardly behind her, but a high number of teeth per inch will make a perfectly square leak-proof hinge. Lightly smooth the ends of you with 120-grit sandpaper.

heh, sounds like the Gaffer

Boring Bob, Llandrindod Wells

2010-01-14T11:32:00.000Z

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

2010-01-10T12:13:00.003Z

Big Margaret recommended this one.

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Astrologer and researcher Barbara Hand Clow presents the long awaited sequel to her bestselling The Pleiadian Agenda which has sold over 70,000 copies. The latest work investigates the scientific implications of her communications with the Pleiadians and presents a nine-dimensional picture of our galaxy along with meditations for accessing each level. In this new book, Hand Clow proposes startling new implications of the end date for the Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012. Each chapter opens with a meditation designed to help readers integrate the material in their everyday lives.

Top facts about the lost Kington Great Pyramid

2010-01-06T14:31:00.005Z

Some real facts from the new book I'm working on look, about the lost pyramids of Kington.

1. The Great Pyramid was built to honour local councillor Les Price, before he was disgraced over the embezzlement thing after which they pulled it down again.
2. Les was the son of Sneferu. His mother worked in the council.
3. The pyramid was situated round the back, near Kwiksave see.
4. It was built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy.
5. Its original height was an over-excited 1460.6m.
6. Estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.
7. The stones were pulled on wooden barges by space tractors.
8. It's thought that over 12 skilled alien sticks worked on the pyramid.
9. And possibly 3 old local farmers joined them during the inundation period where they aligned their levers via cider towards Leominster.
10. Living quarters and workshops had to be specially built for the men and women in the shape of you, though they mostly stayed in the pub.
11. The workers were paid with crisps, drink, and money.
12. Approximately 100,000 bottles of cider and 200,000 packets of crisps were supplied daily to feed the workers three times a day.
13. The blocks were ferried from Radnor Forest via Cascob.
14. Any decent stones were stolen from the pyramid and used to build Kwiksave.
15. The burial chamber and inner passages are made of cheese.
16. The Great Pyramid was locally known as, 'that fooken big thing'

Graham Norton shaped UFO over Herefordshire - day 23

2010-01-04T17:37:00.004Z

We heard reports from Big Margaret that a UFO in the shape of Bill Drummond, the telley presenter, was spotted hovering over some farms around Herefordshire following old cider alignments. There was no sound, though the clanking of cans could be heard, maybe this was the auto-drive energy compartment or somebody moving his levers.

The council have said it's "nothing to do with us look". We are trying to locate photographs of this incident, so please send them in here now if you have any now look if you can be bothered.

UFO Sightings 2009 Orb Triangle

2009-12-24T11:25:00.002Z

UFO shapes in the air, buzzing around a giant space telescope operated by tiny men. Wavy hand camera operation cannot ruin the fact that this is a brilliant film of over-excited alien bees.

Kington eX Factor finalist duet details leaked

2009-12-08T23:30:00.003Z

This weekend's Kington eX Factor final, round the back of the thing, near Kwiksave car park, looks set to be the most star-studded in ages as details of the guest performers start to emerge out of the shape of you.

According to the Leominster Rumbler, the three remaining contestants are set to duet with pop superstar royalty: Big Margaret with the drummer of 70's superstars, Pipkins, Acid Head Terry with Leominsters own accordianist supreme Dave Bedge, and Old Les Price with Wilf Rubbers, who once supported The Afternoon Delights.

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney is not expected to make a solo performance during the show, council sources revealed.

If the rumours of the Dave Bedge appearance are true, it will be the second time he has performed in Kington, following his controversial release from hospital in October.

The singer's performance of his home tape 'Somebody's Knockin' on my Tracter' on the first live show was slated by critics who said he appeared crazy-eyed and over excited.

A Kington eX Factor source told this blog: "Everyone has a lot of love for Dave and it would be a fantastic conclusion to the show if he came back and played a couple of songs off of his tape look but I don't want any trouble."

'Abba Hair' by them Mind Flight

2009-12-06T21:45:00.002Z

'Abba Hair' by them Mind Flight boys, from their forthcoming CD 'Broken', an introspective sequence concerning slow lorries to Cardiff, Gerald, and the inexplicable consequences of brandishing your levers.

Gong live in Bristol, Nov 2009

2009-11-29T17:07:00.003Z

Me and some of the other old boys (including Big Margaret) went down to Bristol in Dennis Nixons minibus to watch our old favourites Gong. They had that young lad Hillage playing guitar with them, and I can tell you it was a real treat.

Unfortunately we missed the Hillage Band support due to the distractions of some very fine draught Addlestones brew-fest at a pub en-route (bit of French lingo there lol) but got there in time to watch the Gong boys braodcasting sausage gas and psychedelic alignments directly into our mind curatains, with Daevids magic stick transmissions projecting Planet Gong geometric excitement into the shape of you.

Blakey - a painted portrait

2009-11-25T20:35:00.007Z

I done some painting the other day, so thought I'd share him with yous. It's a picture of Blakey, who ran after buses and considered advanced mathmatical equations in the seventies.

Much of his theory of lever gases and bus alignment had its origins in the work of Boltzmann in statistical mechanics problems where time and space distribution averages are equal. Steintithaus gives a practical application to 'Dannys Brew Frenzy Theorem' to keeping one foot on the side of the thing, and the other slightly awkwardly crooked around the back with the other arm pressed against the ledge whilst simultaneously balancing your cans on her.

The mathematical origins of conductivity and bus alignment are due to von don Gary Neumann, Baker, and Presley in the 1930s. It has since grown to be a huge thing on a plinth and has applications not only to statistical mechanics, but also to curtain theory, mind geometry, Drummond's analysis of it, and the shape of you. There are also many internal problems (e.g., tractor theorems being applied to giant women) which are interesting if you can be bothered.

Make your own crop circle

2009-11-09T15:30:00.002Z

Make your own UFO corn dolly using magnetic alignments, some left over levers and some old juice from the Kington chip oil.

The spiritually dynamic local farmer

2009-11-04T15:44:00.008Z

Liquid Len sent in this, which he said he "read in a bok":

When coming closer via Leominster and the A44 locals can take two spiritual paths:

He either learns the path by walking around like a donkey, bumping into telleys and UFO's, and discovering the path through stench recognition, or he learns to develop his overused brewery senses to learn the path properly like. The latter process of developing one’s senses is called the “oop-la fahilingar o'er theer” or the “Bill Drummond Brew”, mastered without pain and without resorting to getting excited, but through leaves. To do this you need to duck under a wooden barrier, or curtain with your cans, angle your leg behind the thing. In this awkward and slightly painful position, slide your right leg between the doorshank, and squeeze the top of your face under a second, perpendicular stick, partially jamming your right shoulder into the shape of you.

The spiritually dynamic local farmer discovers that some things located on a plinth are truly resonances that we attract to help us expand and find behind the curtain what we have lost, up by Market Hill, about 5 o'clock last saturday.

By embracing his stick, the individuals shape is rendered like that of a barn, or protractor, or heavy drinker, to ascend in consciousness, and journey through the chip of life in a tiny glass horse called Peter. Truly, we can embrace our wobbly hands from “within” as there is no longer a reason to continue to learn through council depot training seminars can't come in boys you causin trouble

UFO shapes part 2 - 'The Trains'

2009-11-02T13:59:00.003Z

This is taken from a book I found in Kington library look, 'UFO Shapes' by Dan Baker.

"UFO train" moving slowly with you.

Hello. I look at the sky alot, am an amateur horse. This report is of a vision I have seen in my mind, like a form of gas. My pop was losing a Wii Tennis game very badly, so I walked away from the house into a field a few mile away, near the skinheads, and was looking at the top of the trees (just behind the old warehouse..you can see the trees if you stand on a a small plinth and crane your neck lightly).

The 'ship' came from my left, roughly south-left and headed roughly north-right. The best way to describe what I was thinking about was as a "train". This train, or ship, or UFO was 3000 yards long and 3000 feet wide and aligned towards enjoyment. It was hoevering over the field not hoovering HAHA 2 feet above them and sounded like you. The noise was a rhythmic pumping pump pump. There were multiple sections like the carriages of a train, and they contained tiny people looking out at me frightened by it, and it had wheels made of real metal. It was moving rather slowly, perhaps 50 mph, but once it cleared the corner it speeded up a bit. I have never seen anything else like this despite living near Leominster for hunnert year.

Four Poster Stone Circle near Old Radnor in Powys

2009-10-28T15:51:00.002Z

Rubber Henry found this one on the internet: some old boy's filmed the shape of the Radnor four stones. Bit of wind on there, and the camera boy doesn't say much but you can see all the alignments and there's a possible ufo near the end heh.

We're going there for Halloween I'm not excited for some orb investigations. I'll post the thing on him if I can remember/calm down.

Singing and dancing on Glastonbury Tor

2009-10-24T13:05:00.003+01:00

I like this one, some old boys singling and tapping their bongos on Glastonbury Tor look. It's a good song, 'taking power, down the dragons line'. I don't know what this means but it reminds me of the boys up on Hergest on a full moon. We have some games up there I can tell you. Mostly old falmers up there aligning the Grids of Norris but it's nothing to do with the council.

This film goes a bit funny near the end, a dog starts barking, then the cameraman gets bored and starts talking to his mate, then films the boys behind him, so it all goes into a bit of a oo-loop-p, but still a cracking bit of filming and worthy of our things I wish that bloody dog would shu

Faust live at Amersham Arms in London.

2009-10-23T23:56:00.001+01:00

Posted here for no other reason than they're one of the greatest bands on the planet. And not a tractor in sight.

"A Man Must Love A Thing Very Much If He Not Only Practices It Without Any Hope Of Fame And Money, But Even Practices It Without Any Hope Of Doing Well." -G. K. Chesterton

Metatron's Cube

2009-10-22T15:02:00.007+01:00

I'm going to post one that I like now look, none of this funny shopping lists and getting excited (I'm not). This is my idea of heaven - some lovely shapes for your eyeyes, bit of sacred geometry and some soothing calm/don't get excited music for your ears. Crank the volume up to three.

I like the way all the alignments of the shapes fit perfectly onto that tablecloth, more or less, without the need for television presenters, horses or Drummonds Bees. I'll do the glass plinth/danny baker stuff another time look.

Alien or Ghost? you decide!

2009-10-20T21:56:00.003+01:00

Here's one from....h-h.....Hairy Harry. Apparently this was filmed near his barn in Kington. The bloke in front of him is old Bill Wiggins from the chip oil. That's what he says anyways, I've just looked at the thing though and it doesn't say that so I'm getting a bit excited with h..h...h..hh..Harry. Look, please could anyone sending me things make sure you've written the right thing. Don't make it up look, or stick your shopping list reminder poem on him instead. I'll write something about golden plinths tomorrow.

Creepy Aliens on Top of Building in Mexico

2009-10-20T17:16:00.005+01:00

Big Margaret sent me thissun. Creepy Aliens on Top of Building in Mexico. In her covering email she goes on to say:

Never go to him store without my list. And never go for "just one can" if you can haha possibly avoid them. The reasons are manifold: without a list, you are at the mercy of the store's giant rubber tubes that follow your mind and your own memory tin. You're liable to buy the whole farm by the time you get back to your car, or barn. It's a similar problem with going to the store for "just one can". You may be tempted to "impulse buy another can, or cans". Don't! Just Say 'flohingaliayadr' to busting your levers. Prepare your face carefully, research your new alignments, make a list and stick it on your thing.

I'm not quite sure how this relates to the video, maybe it was a MISTAKE but I've put him on there just in case look.

UFO Pie Recipe

2009-10-16T19:19:00.007+01:00

Ingredients

1 ruler's worth of chocolate chips sh
1 thing of chopped rubber
2 UFO's, beaten
2 gasses
1 magic stick, melted and cooled by I'm not excited
1/2 c. Graham Norton
1 tsp. Bill Drummond

Directions

1. Mix chocolate chips and donkey, add a couple of UFO's, then butter up the mrs.
2. Add Graham Norton drainage, tv presenters and plenty of lols.
3. Pour into unbaked pie and stare intently for 30 minutes or until it gets nervous.
4. Test with einstein nose cone and administer The Stench.
5. Bake longer if necessary - it should be chewy, not like a runny poo.
6. This makes one 9 inch bill drummond.

Avebury Manor Crop Circle- 2012 and Nibiru: Part 2

2009-10-14T15:36:00.000+01:00

Avebury Manor, Wiltshire, England crop circle update. The original was done on 15 July, a week later they came back and finished it off. 2012 seems to be the message they are giving us, who THEY are, I don't know. Somebody is trying to tell us something and I don't think its Carlsberg.

Avebury Manor Crop Circle- 2012 and Nibiru: Part 1

2009-10-13T23:24:00.002+01:00

15 July 2008 Avebury Manor, Wilts, England. Crop circle showing planetary alignments 21 December 2012, plus anomalous object between Neptune and Saturn.

Tiny UFO discovered in Bruce Forsythias ear

2009-10-09T10:04:00.005+01:00

No, not that one, Bruce from Builth, also known as 'The Fish Man'. I was sent this by 'Dan, 22' from Builth, and he tells me his drawing of him shows the shape of a tiny ufo inside his ear-hole, just next to the side of his face look. Dan says that 'although him UFO is tiny look, it's about 12000 feet inside and is big enough for a couple of pubs an that, we've all been there'.

I'm not sure what to think about this one, I can't see anything unusual in their painting, which may have been faked anyway, but I will consult my Book Of UFO Shapes to look see.

Excerpts from 'The truth in shape'

2009-10-08T23:37:00.006+01:00

I've been allowed to post a short excerpt from 'The truth in shape', if this goes well I'll put some more of him on here look.

The truth is here, in shape. 1. Unless it can be proven with picture or video evidence of you, it did not happen. Ergo, you are a liar. The double hat UFO is so called because of it's resemblance to two hats placed rim to rim, or perhaps two pie dishes placed lip to lip. In such cases it is known as a double pie dish UFO.

Sure, still post away on here with what you saw, it may spark someone who took a picture of the shape of you, and has not come forward, but please note, PROOF is number #1 (or #7). (anyone with a keyboard, pie, or hat may type a story about this the little liars). Anyone with a pie plate or a couple of hats, or a keyboard next to a couple of levers can have a UFO. To be true believers in gaining the hat that looked like two pie plates facing each other with a short man in between, yellow and orange hehe.

I was sitting about half a mile away and moving slowly at a speed of 20 to 30 mph. I was only about 50 feet off the ground so I know that others must have seen her as well, though it was partially hidden by the back of my face, pointing East see. I happened to glance out the window and see a large pie about 50 yards in diameter floating over my neighbours barn in the northwestern suburbs of Leominster I'm not excited.

Alien farmers on Moon and Mars

2009-10-06T16:44:00.001+01:00

Alien Farmers from Big Margaret - this reminds me of a forgotten B-movie from the 1980s or 1930's that you’d occasionally catch out of the corner of your eyeye on a Saturday afternoon in the pub – absurd in it premise, but shamefully enticing in its gasses. Alien Farmers opens with a UFO chase through Radnorshire that culminates in a tractor crashing sideways into Leominster bus shelter millions of years in the past. When the large, multi-eyed locals open the downed tractor the little guys with the big eyes have a surprise waiting for them in the shape of a magic stick, coated with...oh hang on, wrong film.

The Hidden Stone Meditation

2009-10-05T23:37:00.002+01:00

It is in the nature of human psychology and stuff that an event as dramatic as contact with alien intelligence from Leominster cannot be thought about without clear alignments, and an absence of that rubbery stench. Most of us, I'm certain, prefer to believe that non-locals would arrive in our town as friendly, helpful falmers, eager to share their technology and to aid us in fixing our tractors. Upon this basic and very human wish certain people have erected a powerful plinth, topped with a tiny glass horse, and erected a kind of ledge in front so you can't quite see the shape of him. Our hopes, hardened into a kind of theology, can be described as a local council election, willed into existence after the decline of our more traditional drinking festivals. After all, we have been told more than once that Elvis is dead. The question is...which one?

Astonishing photo of a UFO over Leominster

2009-09-30T22:59:00.005+01:00

Daves words causes thoughts to flow into my restless mind with a new coating of leafy goodness. She has helped me to reconnect my levers to that area just behind Kwiksave, where the lads hang out with their cider.

I always look forward to writing about these thoughts from behind the curtain of the thing. Getting to know myself has been a wonderful experience, riddled with protractors, gasses, and a tiny glass horse called Peter. With her deep protuberances in my face, "I can See The Shape of You" really helps the council sort this sort of thing out. "Journey inside the Shape of You" is about a magic stick. It consists of a forward facing alignment. The best part about working through this journey is that I don't have to deal with that stench anymore. Etc.

Somerset UFO Mystery 2009

2009-09-28T16:57:00.000+01:00

UFO shapes over gods own cider country:

Alien footage, Knighton Show 29th Aug 2009

2009-09-27T21:33:00.001+01:00

Alien robot, you can just about see the shape of him around 0.18 look at Knighton show, near the Vicar's gaff.

Your cat is a doctor

2009-09-26T11:34:00.002+01:00

I had this one in from 'The Gaffer'.

"Also, in the higher frequency ranges, the production of the body's own natural anti-alignment rubber increases thereby reducing swelling of your levers and layering the shape of you. There is further evidence of horse, shape and stench repair within these frequency ranges as well, which has led to some popularity in local pubs and supermarkets around the world, especially in Kinnerton where so much of this research was conducted."

A Channelled Message from Evel Knievel

2009-09-25T17:33:00.003+01:00

Big Margaret keeps sending them in:

"It's just like that time I jumped Snake River Canyon, near Leominster. I knew that rocket didn't have a chance in hell of getting over that canyon. But I strapped myself into that rocket, and I did the best I could. Did the fact that I failed to get across the canyon make me a pussy? No Way!"

Accessing the energy of the 09 09 09 with Magenta Pixie

2009-09-25T11:52:00.002+01:00

'Big Margaret' alerted me to this one look.

"Magenta Pixie and Miss Magikal discuss the 09 09 09 Gateway - the accessing of this energy, what it means and Magenta talks about her experiences of bringing the channeled information forward from the Nine about the Opening of the Triple Nine Gateway."

The Opening of the Triple Nine Gateway on 09 09 09

2009-09-23T18:19:00.002+01:00

The Opening of the Triple Nine Gateway on 09 09 09 (...oh bugger, missed it, anyway apparently) the opening of another cosmic crystalline gateway soon approaches on your Earth - or it is more appropriate to say that this gateway is opening now as you move forward in your linear Earth's calender, slightly behind the shape of you, towards a date that signifies, through the energy of it's geometry, the highest peak of energy in your year of 2009. The date we speak of is the 9th September.....etc.

Well it looks pretty anyway.

SACRED GEOMETRY PART 97 WATER HAS CONSCIOUSNESS 10

2009-09-23T15:43:00.001+01:00

Amazing rubber Filmmaker and mystic alignment king Davubber Filmmsea discussed some of the amazing properties of water and drink - it may actually have a memory of you and consciousness of your thing, he said. Human beings are mostly made up.

Leprechaun caught on www.irelandseye.com webcam

2009-09-22T23:20:00.000+01:00

Leprechaun caught on www.irelandseye.com webcam, near Kington:

Dream Symbols Part 1 - Drummonds Bees

2009-09-13T23:38:00.006+01:00

Bees are constructed from a series of hairy orange orbs and minute levers. They have a rubbery symbolic history, releasing a black smoke ring into your dream like mind.

Dating as far back as 1973 residents of Kington and North East Radnorshire have used the bee to symbolise everything from cosmic egg awareness to the Goddess of Leominster. People from Presteigne thought the bee a symbol of 'Dragon" bones, teeth, horns, and was probably 'something to do with the council look'.

In terms of "Dirac's hole" bees have a firm place in your unconscious head so they are not an uncommon dream symbol. Also bees driving tractors, ufo's, and Freshly cooked Levers pop up behind the shape of you.

Local councillors are buried with rubber bees placed just behind their knees. This where the phrase 'the rubber bees' comes from.

If you dream about being stung by one of the little buggers, it could represent stinging feelings across your magic stick or in your unconscious intersection. The bee might represent constructing hairstyles via a glass horse.

Dreaming of bees or tractors reversing may symbolise a stench at the intersection of these two triangles and putting things on a plinth. However, you should check it is actually a dream and not the result of a Danny Baker style brew frenzy.

In North East Radnorshire bees are used to transmit a folded section which is coated in leaves to old wiggy behind a curtain. Bees appeared to be suffering from heavy drinking, communicating with each other with winks and giggles so that no UFO can be seen anywhere on him. Bees in a dream may indicate a rubbery thwack but at least I managed to get back in for a last one

2nd INCREDIBLE VIDEO UFO RELEASES MOVING SPHERES

2009-09-08T09:55:00.002+01:00

The newsreader (sports reporter) is saying:

...there is a first tape of an object spinning now and realising hairstyle shapes in style. This first tape was taken with the sun behind the cameraman, slightly to the side, so he had to angle his face towards the cloud but slightly behind a tree with his back against the thing, his leg folded underneath? So the reason why those objects appear like giant rubber tractors is due to his wobbly local hand.

This tape was taken by is it now Pendaroo Hernandanandez haha but after it was showed on the telley another person who we shall call DANNY GRINDS who excitedly filmed the same thing but from Leominster chippy, slightly crouched under a ridge, but hampered by a buttress and about 30 cans of brew. (So) that is why in 2nd film the objects appear as jingle cartridges, doing a dozen things at once look.

Taken to the depot

2009-09-02T12:21:00.008+01:00

I was sent this by 'Heavy Margaret' from Llanbister:

I was walking beside this river in Llandrindod look one afternoon. Near the 'Rock Park' is it.

Danny Baker was waving to me on the other side of the river. I was walking along it looking for a way to cross without getting my face and things wet. I came to the end of the river and at the end was a tunnel which went straight into my mind?

Then my feet became attached to the ground via giant rubber bands. At this point I was more aroused than scared. Then my whole body collapsed into the ground in a kind of telescopic fashion, with each segment folding into the previous one. It was as if some kind of giant stench was trying to pull me underneath the ground and transforming me into a telescope, or tripod.

Then somehow I was lifted by leaves, partially folded, and floated through the tunnel via my mind curtains. The next thing I remember I am in this circular room of shapes, empty apart from some drink, crisps, a small glass horse on a table and a telley. Then something sucked my trousers off in about half a second leaving me in my long johns and jingle cartridges.

Then this bright light was shinning right in front of me, like a giant rubbery glitter cone, but on a wavey stick. Since I was lying on the floor I couldn't see where it was coming from - it was slightly behind me, behind my left shoulder. I tried to see but it was partially obscured by the crisps, and moving in the other direction meant that my leg became trapped around the back next to the little glass horse. My other leg was partly folded up into the tripod so I couldn't move that properly unless I could work out how to extend it.

Then four newsreaders or sports reporters suddenly appeared and stood laughing around me and put their thoughts of Leominster, curtains, ledges, and a mountain made from human teeth into my face. Someone that looked like Paul Gascoigne told me to go to the depot. He taught me how to extend my legs and body out of the telescopic position, and I then walked straight into the tiny depot which had hardly any room to move in it. I couldn't even turn around, and suddenly something was pushing into my back a little bit (I later discovered that this was 'Pauls' magic stick).

Anyway it all stopped then - they told me to get dressed and suddenly I was back on the bank of the river look and some bugger had been and drunk all my cans I'm not over excited.

Hundreds of one foot wide stone circles found

2009-09-01T13:57:00.009+01:00

Alleged Discovery -- Chi Pu Butter, a professor of archaeology at Danny Bakers Internet Treehouse, and his students were on an expedition to explore a series of shelters in the pathless Himalayan mountains of the remote Bayan-Kara-Ula near Leominster, stripped to the waist and covered in Cottage Cheese and Jelly.

The shelters may have been artificially carved out below the ground in secrecy by an eccentric with 'mad paranormal' visions and were fabricated through conventional rubber technology. The walls were squared and glazed, as if cut into dried leaves, which left a beautiful silhouette of the picture and the shape of you. Entry into the caves was difficult - they had to duck under a wooden barrier, or curtain, and somehow angle your leg behind the shelf, just next to the stand of things. In this awkward position, Butter and friends had to slide their right leg between the butress and anterior node (lol), and squeeze their face under a second, perpendicular curtain, partially obscuring their right shoulder.

Once inside the shelter, newsreaders, sports reporters and guests plopped in and sat down to do create their hairstyles, Butter would stand up and wander about while talking, flicking his eastside bavarian alignment machine, and jingle cartridges, doing a dozen things at once and holding the pathless Radnorshire mountains together by the sheer audacity of his ridiculous face.

"I'll never forget my son Crystal, who'd have been 37 at the time, he didn't know who Paul Gascoigne was, and I thought that's almost too good to be true"

They found many neat rows of donkey rollers with short 4 ft 4 in inch FURminator deShedding Tools with 1-3/4-Inch Edge for Cats buried within. The edges had abnormally big heads, and small, thin, fragile bodies. A member of the team suggested they had normal jobs like you and me, celebrity professors and that. Prof. Butter was said to respond, "Glitter Images Greetings and Scraps, All Latest Orkut, Myspace, Hi5, FaceBook and Friendster Cool Funny Glitter ..."

There were no amusing epitaphs at the thing, but instead hundreds of one foot wide stone circles ("Single Ended Tetrode haha 5.0w. Perting") were found having 3/4 inch wide edges in their pipe hole. On the walls were carved pictures of Kington Kwiksave, Julian Cope, trousers, a wavey hand, tractors, and lines of pea-sized magic sticks connecting the earth with the sky via levers. Along with the discs, the shelter drawings had been determined to be about 50 years old, which will eventually become an essential resource for all future research into giant circle disk things, carried out at great tax payers expense by the councils 'alignment division'.

I SAID DONKEY

2009-08-31T23:40:00.001+01:00

Charlie Chuck on James Whale

The Crop Circle Ship - Blueprints in the Crop Circles

2009-08-22T10:49:00.001+01:00

Old Les sent me this one, he says he found a crop circle in his filed last night/ but more about that later. Anyway: - The Crop Circle Ship - Blueprints in the Crop Circles:

The pie of the circle of your face lecture

2009-08-21T12:43:00.009+01:00

On behalf of Dtikler I went along to a drafty hall in Evancoyd, for a lecture on 'the pie of the circle of your face' by 'The Shuffler', a professor of geometry and gasses.

The evening started with what I'm reliably informed as 'The Quartz look' which is part of a protection process before starting the thing. We all sat in a circle around 'The Shuffler' and asked to close our eyes ......I kept one eye open in case of any jiggery pokery hokery bum. There was a smell of cow in the air. 'The Shuffler' commenced his lecture. I managed to sneak in an old reel to reel Sanyo tape machine in my pocket and picked up some of the lecture transcribed by me below:

....the enlargic Age ended much later thaement scale - factor is your standard 24% rubber. To ascertain this scwe4tor, hahaha, circa 1500 B.C., one has to draw in a right-angled triangle for hair (slightly under the thing) UFO faces that are rather special, which form the one-tenth angle at the centre of the lever, beneath the cusp, and reaches out to touch two adjacent levers; resembling the shape of a pen, quite possibly...pens.

Then the cosine gives her the ratio in size of the tweleyharaytor mention that I'm not over-excited... and Behind the Rubbery Grinder amazighly 4:5. on the telley. Happen that look pi/5 = phi/2 see (NB Equations having both pie and phie are rather special, and pie, as they are both 'transcendent-look' numbers which go on forever and Jen (BB9 UK) has really weird teeth? (never repeat.)

Look, where pies/5 is one-tenth of a circle shape or 36°76 Aberystwyth University Bookshop. Heh, closed. The interviewees also wore an extensive variety of bow ties. Piri Reis wrote on his map 'Dragon" bones, teeth and horns', probably anciently of the Arrrrphcian Canatanititoenies, the maps secured from the library in Kington at Alex before it was ransacked by the locals, then taken to Leominster (lol), but they did excitedly mention that the map amazingly shows please don't touch me Lorrie Barnes describing a stench of leaves....

At this point the tape became entangled on a packet of Spangles in my trouser pocket causing a bit of a ruckus, unfortunately missing the best bit which I'll try to remember once I've sobered up a bit.

Crop Circles and Time Cycles

2009-08-14T22:00:00.001+01:00

Sounds like The Gaffer:

Alien Angles - a game of alignments and UFO geometry

2009-08-12T16:00:00.001+01:00

The Vicar just sent me this one. If you like games, and aliens, and...erm...angles, then you'll love this free tub. Click the link for the full rub:

Practice estimating angles with this fun geometry game. It's not as easy as it looks.

Danny Baker in UFO film

2009-08-11T09:52:00.005+01:00

Les sent me this one. An amazing film of a ufo to silence the sceptics. This is the most compelling evidence yet look 100% genuine you can see the whole geometric thing of it:

You can see the full shape of them, and if you looks very carefully a few hunnert frames in then now you can see a photograph of celebrity TV chef Danny Baker (see tape below where he's debating the kaleidoscope as a distillate condensate in terms of "Dirac's hole" to think that if "Leominster" is introduced in the axiom(matrice) then it presents the geometrical necessity of movement in her shapes of non euclidean thinking) in one of the 'portholes'.

Starters

Poached Rubber Prawn & Egg Salad
Freshly cooked Levers – Marinere / Garlic
Prawn Cocktail with 'Special Cream' Sauce
Homemade Soup of the Face
Potato Skinheads with cheese & a nasty sour dip
Home Made Pate with Baldness
Garlic Mushrooms Vegetarian Gruel

Sacred Geometry in Crop Circles

2009-08-09T19:10:00.000+01:00

Sacred Geometry in Crop Circles - nice photographs of the sacred corn shapes, and some lovely music by them as well:

Like a circular hairstyle but on the ground

2009-08-08T17:26:00.006+01:00

The Vicar's found another one:

Reported by aliendrip on Monday, January 29, 2007 at 2:45AM Lucton time:

Last summer I was up in Luctons look when a freak storm passed through them. I slept through him but he almost blew the roof ledging, just by the edge of the rood ledge, off of a local barn? When I got up, from behind the grass, just under them, I noticed the field to the right of the barn, just back from the road but slightly to the left of the old tracter had a huje circles in the corn blown down in a shape, and the circles were across the whole of the thing see. Sort of like a circular hairstyle but on the ground AND THERE WAS ALSO A STENCH OF LEAVES

I felt calm and didn't get over excited like I normally do, which is a bit funny. He aksed me if I had been pregnant recently and I said no I am a man.

The tin flew off in the direction of Leominster just like they usually do. I don't think they were from the Radnorshire remote committee as we're over the border? But sometimes the border creeps over the hedges and behind them. Not under the river edges, or borders ledge but beside them just past Hafren Furnishings. Actaully it could have been the council but I don't really want to say any more curtins closed or they might take off my pilotts lisensc off of me I'm not over excited

Elvis crop circle, near Evancoyd WI

2009-08-05T17:22:00.002+01:00

Mad Kev just sent me in this one. Him and a few local boys were out paragliding, apparently, and one of them took a photo of this crop formation in a field near Evancoyd WI. Kev's brother Jezza (who wasn't with the paragliders, but is a bit of a rock and roller) reckons it's the spitting image of the king of pop, Elvis Presley. Personally I can't see it at all. If anything it's probably the king of levers Morrisey but yous can make your own minds up about it look.

Anunnaki Alien Gods of Planet X Nibiru

2009-08-04T11:16:00.001+01:00

Investigation of Triangle Centers

2009-08-03T18:16:00.007+01:00

In this section of their exploration you will be asked by him to explore the altitudes, angle bisectors, medians, and perpendicular levers of a triangle in shape. You will be able to make conjectures about the behaviour of those very special segments that he keeps hidden in his special cupboard, next to his secrets.

Construct

* Construct the attitude to side AC through vertex B via Kington.
* Directions for construction of an attitude to style.
* Script for constructing hairstyles via a glass horse.
* Construct a second shape in the style of vertex A.
* Make a stench at the intersection of these two levers.
* Construct the third ridge through vertex C, behind the ledge of C.

Investigate

1. When you constructed the third shape, did it touch your gasses?
2. Write a conjecture about the way your levers intersect on a plinth.
3. Move one vertex of the boys UFO so your triangle is behind the acute leg, but below the obtuse backing shape, underneath but slightly to the right of the cusp of his sweaty blouse. Where is the intersection of your hair alignments?
5. Now move the ridgeway to make your thing a right cheese pointy. What happens to the intersection of your magic stick behind his wassaname in this case, if they're rubbed underneath the ledges to the left of the thing?

We call the alignment of the shapes of a triangle the Gummy Res of the shape in style.

Before you leave this investigation did you follow your teacher's directions about saving your work and turning it in?

Next: Go Back

Messages from Andromeda - Wayshowers of Enlightenment 2012

2009-08-03T11:40:00.000+01:00

Not quite sure what these boys are on about but it's got aliens and geometry in it look:

Unexplained Sightings: Spatula

2009-08-01T18:01:00.001+01:00

Was I researched by aliens?

2009-07-30T15:23:00.004+01:00

'The Vicar' sent me this one he found, I think he's been looking on that internet again.

Sometime in the last 5 years (I forgot the date see) I suddenly woke up in bed, and I was suddenly fully awake and bright, not asleep, but awake. Not drunk, or asleep. I had the feeling I had been somewhere else, not the pub. The feeling was so clear, I wasn't p#ssed, but I could not remember the place. It definitely wasn't a pub, though maybe it was a restaurant - I could tell this via the stench.

Some time later, it looked like an inside curtain opened a bit inside of my valves and I got a flash around the back of my face. I still don't know where I was that night, maybe it was Leominster, but I remember what happened.

I was surrounded by living creatures on a bed or a flying chair. The men had drugged me and put a sort of big plastic helmet on my head, a bit like a traffic cone. It was radio controlled and aligned towards The Ridge, and someone or something had a big lever or stick, and rubbed it over the helmet. It went smoothly, very fast up and down and behind them. I did not feel it touch my hair, but I could see the shape of him.

The pin scanned many lines on the surface of the cone, or helmet, it looked like horizontal and vertical meridian lines like you see on a segment of Battenburg. It made a scratching sound, like a little glass horse on ice.

The man did not tell me why they were doing it, and they did not hurt me at all. They were calm and quiet using their levers, and one of them had another leg, or arm, around the back of him, tucked under his thing.

I was supposed not to remember it at all. And somehow I know that they know that I was able to remember this little part, but they didn't know that I knew that they knew him. I remember nothing, and I am not trying to remember more of their gasses, curtain closed.

So I don't know - was this a strange dream, or an alien alignment behind me? It would explain a lot - the grazes on my knee, the empty crisp packet in my pocket, the thumping headache the next morning. But the human brain is a complicated thing like a really complicated form, so you can never be sure it could be something to do with the council like.

UFO Landings on The Ridge part 1

2009-07-29T20:28:00.004+01:00

Kington has long been a hotbed of UFO sightings largely because Radnorshire is home to the Leominster to Kington miniature pyramid alignments. Hergest Ridge is alleged to be a popular UFO landing rubber. And one man, local farmer Les Rubbings says he talked to ET's many times on 'The Ridge'.

Local expert Don Ledges says it is a landing strip of sorts. He claimed to have witnessed several UFO landings on The Ridge, which he wrote about in a series of books, titled 'Landings on The Ridge part 1', 'Landings on The Ridge part 2' and 'Landings on The Ridge part 3'.

One account by local butcher Hal Meat describes eleven visitations to Hergest Ridge in the early 50s when Mike Oldfield was about and could be seen up there riding a glass horse. The first time it happened, Hal says, he got off work late at night and went to the top of the Ridge, which was once a seabed, to search for fossilized aliens. After taking a nap, he awoke to find himself surrounded by tiny little men.

In that first incident atop The Ridge, Mr Meat said he encountered 8 to 10 alien beings. They were between seven inches and five feet tall, had olive skin that made them look like they were from Leominster, he said, wore 'strange aprons?', and they all carried levers, which they fiddled with continuously. They leaned slightly, with his arms tucked slightly behind their torso, legs folded underneath and another arm behind him.

Eventually, Meat said he was allowed to go inside the 3000-foot flying saucer, which is where he met the captain of the ship, Aura Price, whom he described as, "covered in shapes and smelling like a tree?" Aura told Meat all about her planet and its utopian virtues and hinted that we earthlings should 'sort yourselves out look'.

Although Meat's tale caused quite a stir, The Ridge did not become a place of pilgrimage for UFO believers, as The Leominster Parallelogram did decades later. Eventually the contactees like Meat faded from public view and sought refuge in drink and crisps, their stories of benign aliens replaced by darker tales of pens, conkers and sinister local geometry circles.

Some of Don Ledges's books can still be found in old book stores or for sale online but I wouldn't bother with them as they're rubbish like.