The constellation of Aquarius superimposed on a map of Leominster

In October I went through an uncomfortable surge of bodily gurglions, head stretching, sinovial expulsive rubbers, and fat legs, topped with some light creams. Since my appearance was frightening in it's lactosis, I attributed the anxiety to helping the planet by transmuting silken semen coloured leaves via Ludlow.

To enable a cure in my mind, a candle had to be made. Ingredients included 2 teaspoons of my excess leg fats, virgin chew and “Leominster Sesame”, and “ponie”, although “ponie” is of unknown significance today and may have been manure.

After that medicine I could feel a big difference in my legs and arse. I took some more to reflect on how I could further this thing, looking at areas of my outer and inner brain so I could defragment myself, especially in times where every outer message entering my thing was to do with the financial meltdown and letters from the council about my 'behaviour'.

I asked myself “Why am I choosing to hold this? “Gives us our Hand back!” exclaimed the man. In reply I simply stared into the dark sending the man away.

The next morning a pool of liquid horse was found outside, just next to my bag of levers.

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Big Margaret recommended this one.

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Astrologer and researcher Barbara Hand Clow presents the long awaited sequel to her bestselling The Pleiadian Agenda which has sold over 70,000 copies. The latest work investigates the scientific implications of her communications with the Pleiadians and presents a nine-dimensional picture of our galaxy along with meditations for accessing each level. In this new book, Hand Clow proposes startling new implications of the end date for the Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012. Each chapter opens with a meditation designed to help readers integrate the material in their everyday lives.

Make your own crop circle

Make your own UFO corn dolly using magnetic alignments, some left over levers and some old juice from the Kington chip oil.

Avebury Manor Crop Circle- 2012 and Nibiru: Part 2

Avebury Manor, Wiltshire, England crop circle update. The original was done on 15 July, a week later they came back and finished it off. 2012 seems to be the message they are giving us, who THEY are, I don't know. Somebody is trying to tell us something and I don't think its Carlsberg.

Avebury Manor Crop Circle- 2012 and Nibiru: Part 1

15 July 2008 Avebury Manor, Wilts, England. Crop circle showing planetary alignments 21 December 2012, plus anomalous object between Neptune and Saturn.

The Crop Circle Ship - Blueprints in the Crop Circles

Old Les sent me this one, he says he found a crop circle in his filed last night/ but more about that later. Anyway: - The Crop Circle Ship - Blueprints in the Crop Circles:

The pie of the circle of your face lecture

On behalf of Dtikler I went along to a drafty hall in Evancoyd, for a lecture on 'the pie of the circle of your face' by 'The Shuffler', a professor of geometry and gasses.

The evening started with what I'm reliably informed as 'The Quartz look' which is part of a protection process before starting the thing. We all sat in a circle around 'The Shuffler' and asked to close our eyes ......I kept one eye open in case of any jiggery pokery hokery bum. There was a smell of cow in the air. 'The Shuffler' commenced his lecture. I managed to sneak in an old reel to reel Sanyo tape machine in my pocket and picked up some of the lecture transcribed by me below:

....the enlargic Age ended much later thaement scale - factor is your standard 24% rubber. To ascertain this scwe4tor, hahaha, circa 1500 B.C., one has to draw in a right-angled triangle for hair (slightly under the thing) UFO faces that are rather special, which form the one-tenth angle at the centre of the lever, beneath the cusp, and reaches out to touch two adjacent levers; resembling the shape of a pen, quite possibly...pens.

Then the cosine gives her the ratio in size of the tweleyharaytor mention that I'm not over-excited... and Behind the Rubbery Grinder amazighly 4:5. on the telley. Happen that look pi/5 = phi/2 see (NB Equations having both pie and phie are rather special, and pie, as they are both 'transcendent-look' numbers which go on forever and Jen (BB9 UK) has really weird teeth? (never repeat.)

Look, where pies/5 is one-tenth of a circle shape or 36°76 Aberystwyth University Bookshop. Heh, closed. The interviewees also wore an extensive variety of bow ties. Piri Reis wrote on his map 'Dragon" bones, teeth and horns', probably anciently of the Arrrrphcian Canatanititoenies, the maps secured from the library in Kington at Alex before it was ransacked by the locals, then taken to Leominster (lol), but they did excitedly mention that the map amazingly shows please don't touch me Lorrie Barnes describing a stench of leaves....

At this point the tape became entangled on a packet of Spangles in my trouser pocket causing a bit of a ruckus, unfortunately missing the best bit which I'll try to remember once I've sobered up a bit.

Crop Circles and Time Cycles

Sounds like The Gaffer:

Sacred Geometry in Crop Circles

Sacred Geometry in Crop Circles - nice photographs of the sacred corn shapes, and some lovely music by them as well:

Like a circular hairstyle but on the ground

The Vicar's found another one:

Reported by aliendrip on Monday, January 29, 2007 at 2:45AM Lucton time:

Last summer I was up in Luctons look when a freak storm passed through them. I slept through him but he almost blew the roof ledging, just by the edge of the rood ledge, off of a local barn? When I got up, from behind the grass, just under them, I noticed the field to the right of the barn, just back from the road but slightly to the left of the old tracter had a huje circles in the corn blown down in a shape, and the circles were across the whole of the thing see. Sort of like a circular hairstyle but on the ground AND THERE WAS ALSO A STENCH OF LEAVES

I felt calm and didn't get over excited like I normally do, which is a bit funny. He aksed me if I had been pregnant recently and I said no I am a man.

The tin flew off in the direction of Leominster just like they usually do. I don't think they were from the Radnorshire remote committee as we're over the border? But sometimes the border creeps over the hedges and behind them. Not under the river edges, or borders ledge but beside them just past Hafren Furnishings. Actaully it could have been the council but I don't really want to say any more curtins closed or they might take off my pilotts lisensc off of me I'm not over excited

Elvis crop circle, near Evancoyd WI

Mad Kev just sent me in this one. Him and a few local boys were out paragliding, apparently, and one of them took a photo of this crop formation in a field near Evancoyd WI. Kev's brother Jezza (who wasn't with the paragliders, but is a bit of a rock and roller) reckons it's the spitting image of the king of pop, Elvis Presley. Personally I can't see it at all. If anything it's probably the king of levers Morrisey but yous can make your own minds up about it look.

Investigation of Triangle Centers

In this section of their exploration you will be asked by him to explore the altitudes, angle bisectors, medians, and perpendicular levers of a triangle in shape. You will be able to make conjectures about the behaviour of those very special segments that he keeps hidden in his special cupboard, next to his secrets.

Construct

* Construct the attitude to side AC through vertex B via Kington.
* Directions for construction of an attitude to style.
* Script for constructing hairstyles via a glass horse.
* Construct a second shape in the style of vertex A.
* Make a stench at the intersection of these two levers.
* Construct the third ridge through vertex C, behind the ledge of C.

Investigate

1. When you constructed the third shape, did it touch your gasses?
2. Write a conjecture about the way your levers intersect on a plinth.
3. Move one vertex of the boys UFO so your triangle is behind the acute leg, but below the obtuse backing shape, underneath but slightly to the right of the cusp of his sweaty blouse. Where is the intersection of your hair alignments?
5. Now move the ridgeway to make your thing a right cheese pointy. What happens to the intersection of your magic stick behind his wassaname in this case, if they're rubbed underneath the ledges to the left of the thing?

We call the alignment of the shapes of a triangle the Gummy Res of the shape in style.

Before you leave this investigation did you follow your teacher's directions about saving your work and turning it in?

Next: Go Back

UFO Landings on The Ridge part 1

Kington has long been a hotbed of UFO sightings largely because Radnorshire is home to the Leominster to Kington miniature pyramid alignments. Hergest Ridge is alleged to be a popular UFO landing rubber. And one man, local farmer Les Rubbings says he talked to ET's many times on 'The Ridge'.

Local expert Don Ledges says it is a landing strip of sorts. He claimed to have witnessed several UFO landings on The Ridge, which he wrote about in a series of books, titled 'Landings on The Ridge part 1', 'Landings on The Ridge part 2' and 'Landings on The Ridge part 3'.

One account by local butcher Hal Meat describes eleven visitations to Hergest Ridge in the early 50s when Mike Oldfield was about and could be seen up there riding a glass horse. The first time it happened, Hal says, he got off work late at night and went to the top of the Ridge, which was once a seabed, to search for fossilized aliens. After taking a nap, he awoke to find himself surrounded by tiny little men.

In that first incident atop The Ridge, Mr Meat said he encountered 8 to 10 alien beings. They were between seven inches and five feet tall, had olive skin that made them look like they were from Leominster, he said, wore 'strange aprons?', and they all carried levers, which they fiddled with continuously. They leaned slightly, with his arms tucked slightly behind their torso, legs folded underneath and another arm behind him.

Eventually, Meat said he was allowed to go inside the 3000-foot flying saucer, which is where he met the captain of the ship, Aura Price, whom he described as, "covered in shapes and smelling like a tree?" Aura told Meat all about her planet and its utopian virtues and hinted that we earthlings should 'sort yourselves out look'.

Although Meat's tale caused quite a stir, The Ridge did not become a place of pilgrimage for UFO believers, as The Leominster Parallelogram did decades later. Eventually the contactees like Meat faded from public view and sought refuge in drink and crisps, their stories of benign aliens replaced by darker tales of pens, conkers and sinister local geometry circles.

Some of Don Ledges's books can still be found in old book stores or for sale online but I wouldn't bother with them as they're rubbish like.

Aliens making crop circle video

I bumped into Wynn Price in The Chocolate Box yesterday who alerted me to this video:

UFO buffys are studying a film that allegedly was taken by shocked locals on a farm near the town of Sorayaspace in the Spanish province of Kingtony. It is believed to have been filmed fairly recently.

The Video (below) shows alleged aliens burning a field after what appears to be a crop circle magic session. At least three extraterrestrials are seen in the footage. It is unknown how the alleged aliens got to the field as no UFO can be seen anywhere on him.

UFO and paranormal expert Michael Joel Rosen comments "This has the stench of a hoax. The alien silhouettes do look like rather typical Axthadans from a distance but that is hardly surprising as notions of Axthadan features have been circulating around Leominster for years."

"When will hoaxers realize that footage that ends with a camera pointing pointlessly at the ground while its owner pants for breath don’t make things appear more realistic" concluded a grumpy Rosen.