Baileys Space Castle

Intergalactic electronic communication transmitted via the ether's, translated into geometric sound waves via the UMMU audio generators.

Unexplained sheep attacks caused by aliens in UFOs claim experts

More Radnor Forest shenanigans: County Times report

The lights kept changing shape see and emitting beams of light and small leaves that covered large areas of distance in a tinkle of cans. At times the spheres would morph into the shape of you, firing beams of love to the ground and discharging a gaseous stench that darted backwards and forwards across the valley floor as though they were looking for something they had left behind, just the previous Tuesday...

Graham Norton shaped UFO over Herefordshire - day 23

We heard reports from Big Margaret that a UFO in the shape of Bill Drummond, the telley presenter, was spotted hovering over some farms around Herefordshire following old cider alignments. There was no sound, though the clanking of cans could be heard, maybe this was the auto-drive energy compartment or somebody moving his levers.

The council have said it's "nothing to do with us look". We are trying to locate photographs of this incident, so please send them in here now if you have any now look if you can be bothered.

UFO Sightings 2009 Orb Triangle

UFO shapes in the air, buzzing around a giant space telescope operated by tiny men. Wavy hand camera operation cannot ruin the fact that this is a brilliant film of over-excited alien bees.

Dream Symbols Part 1 - Drummonds Bees

Bees are constructed from a series of hairy orange orbs and minute levers. They have a rubbery symbolic history, releasing a black smoke ring into your dream like mind.

Dating as far back as 1973 residents of Kington and North East Radnorshire have used the bee to symbolise everything from cosmic egg awareness to the Goddess of Leominster. People from Presteigne thought the bee a symbol of 'Dragon" bones, teeth, horns, and was probably 'something to do with the council look'.

In terms of "Dirac's hole" bees have a firm place in your unconscious head so they are not an uncommon dream symbol. Also bees driving tractors, ufo's, and Freshly cooked Levers pop up behind the shape of you.

Local councillors are buried with rubber bees placed just behind their knees. This where the phrase 'the rubber bees' comes from.

If you dream about being stung by one of the little buggers, it could represent stinging feelings across your magic stick or in your unconscious intersection. The bee might represent constructing hairstyles via a glass horse.

Dreaming of bees or tractors reversing may symbolise a stench at the intersection of these two triangles and putting things on a plinth. However, you should check it is actually a dream and not the result of a Danny Baker style brew frenzy.

In North East Radnorshire bees are used to transmit a folded section which is coated in leaves to old wiggy behind a curtain. Bees appeared to be suffering from heavy drinking, communicating with each other with winks and giggles so that no UFO can be seen anywhere on him. Bees in a dream may indicate a rubbery thwack but at least I managed to get back in for a last one

Taken to the depot

I was sent this by 'Heavy Margaret' from Llanbister:

I was walking beside this river in Llandrindod look one afternoon. Near the 'Rock Park' is it.

Danny Baker was waving to me on the other side of the river. I was walking along it looking for a way to cross without getting my face and things wet. I came to the end of the river and at the end was a tunnel which went straight into my mind?

Then my feet became attached to the ground via giant rubber bands. At this point I was more aroused than scared. Then my whole body collapsed into the ground in a kind of telescopic fashion, with each segment folding into the previous one. It was as if some kind of giant stench was trying to pull me underneath the ground and transforming me into a telescope, or tripod.

Then somehow I was lifted by leaves, partially folded, and floated through the tunnel via my mind curtains. The next thing I remember I am in this circular room of shapes, empty apart from some drink, crisps, a small glass horse on a table and a telley. Then something sucked my trousers off in about half a second leaving me in my long johns and jingle cartridges.

Then this bright light was shinning right in front of me, like a giant rubbery glitter cone, but on a wavey stick. Since I was lying on the floor I couldn't see where it was coming from - it was slightly behind me, behind my left shoulder. I tried to see but it was partially obscured by the crisps, and moving in the other direction meant that my leg became trapped around the back next to the little glass horse. My other leg was partly folded up into the tripod so I couldn't move that properly unless I could work out how to extend it.

Then four newsreaders or sports reporters suddenly appeared and stood laughing around me and put their thoughts of Leominster, curtains, ledges, and a mountain made from human teeth into my face. Someone that looked like Paul Gascoigne told me to go to the depot. He taught me how to extend my legs and body out of the telescopic position, and I then walked straight into the tiny depot which had hardly any room to move in it. I couldn't even turn around, and suddenly something was pushing into my back a little bit (I later discovered that this was 'Pauls' magic stick).

Anyway it all stopped then - they told me to get dressed and suddenly I was back on the bank of the river look and some bugger had been and drunk all my cans I'm not over excited.

Most Haunted touched my arse

I nearly spilled my cider last night. I was back at the B&B watching a tape of an old Most Haunted (with Derek Pakora, not the new bald geezer with the eyes and muttering), and 'touched my hair' girl screamed that something had "touched my bum". She then demonstrated this (unnecessarily in my opinion) on alignments 'expert' Kieran O'Tiddles rear shapes.

And this was in the 'good old days' when it was all light anomalies and magic sticks. You don't get them now look, it's all high pitched whistly things at every place they go to (are they being followed by the ghost of Percy Edwards?) or a good old punch up between Karl and some ghostly ghastly Phil Mitchell type/Kington on a Friday night is it.

The Most Haunted touched my hair

I used to enjoy getting back from The Swan look and watching a tape of the Most Haunted on the telly, with a take-out cider or two, but recently something's gone horribly wrong. There's a new series now and to be quite honest I'm thinking of giving it a miss now see and watching a tape of Passing Over To The Other Sides instead look.

For starters the nice 'historian' bloke has been replaced with a slightly sinister, extremely grumpy old woman who seems to hate everything. My mate Derek Pakora's gone, plus that other nice medium called David, and we now have some bald geezer who genuinely seems to suffer from some form of curtain enhanced distress - as he spends half the time muttering to himself, completely oblivious to what's going on and the levers provided by the rest of the crew.

Then there's the gasses. It used to be a few 'orbs', which I loved (bit of geometry in there as well as a UFO theme, lovely) but they've gone. Then there was the 'tap two times to say yes love' for the 'ghost conversations' over the rubber. Then there was the stone throwing at me stop it lark. Now though there now look seems to be hardly an episode go by without the ghosts laying into Carl or the other bald camera geezer please stop it Lorrie Barnes and giving them a good kicking as if it was filmed in Kington like.

And where has the sweaty Pink Floyd sound bloke gone? He was good, always getting 'the fevers'. Maybe he was killed by a ghost.

Then (I haven't finished yet look) there's the continual swearing when something happens. "Listen...can you hear tha..BLEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEP...sounded like a..BLEEEEEEEEP". No, I didn't blinking hear it mate because you bleeping bleeped over it. And stop all the screaming and moaning about being frightened all the time. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GHOST HUNTERS LOOK. If you can't handle it then give me a ring on the telephone and I'll nip over after the pub shuts.

But worst of all, for me like, is the one thing that hasn't changed, and that's Cafe 'something touched my hair'. Every episode she's in, something touches her hair. Is there a small dead horse in her hair? Are the follicles being re-aligned by magnets? Has her wig been abducted by aliens or is it only nits?

Come back historian bloke, come back Pink Floyd soundman. Come back David and Derek. Come back floating orb like light anomalies. We miss your smell and the shape of your things.

Unknown Monkey Haunts Ridgeway Pub

This pleasant historic Kington pub looks almost welcoming to visitors, with an excellent 17th 19th century timber-frame structure and a fine period indoors decorated nice like.

Inside, the pub has all the ingredients that you would associate with a typical haunted thing. It dates back to the 1600's 1972 and has had many different uses across the twitching curtains of time. Underneath the old wooden floor of the pub is a blocked tunnel that is thought to connect, via levers to the Kington Pyramid, parts of which still stand nearby.

The inn was known to have been a Greggs bakery before it became a pub which was originally, and rather pleasantly, known as 'Greggs look.' Reputedly the inn took the name 'The Ridgeway Arms' from another public house which was situated further down the street called 'The Ridgeway Arms' around the year 1840 hunnert under the tenancy of one Rodney David Donkey.

One of the pub's ghosts is that of a little glass horse who is said to have been slaughtered in the kitchen for pies. The date of this pie is unfortunately not known but more than likely happened when the building was in use as a bakery, for pasties like. Whether there is any truth in this story depends on the alignment of your stick.

Documented occupants of the inn have included Tony Evans in 1850; a Wynn Rickety in 1891; Lulu, and a Ms. Amy Levers who was licensee in 1977.

The Ridgeway Arms has many interesting ghost stories, the best known being the sighting of a fat ghostly monkey that was once seen by many people in the area of the bar after hours one night. It is claimed that the monkey appeared slightly lower and it’s feet seemed to be below the pub's floor level, which could suggest that either the monkey was perhaps very tall, the floor was made from water, or monkey-boy had semi-permeable feet and legs. The fat monkey was seen walking through the bar area in the direction of the front window before he vanished before her face.

Other ghostly occurrences include light switches and electrical appliances frequently being turned on and off, apparently of their own accord, although the wiring is known to be a bit dodgy, and an onion once disappeared from the ghostly kitchen. Orbs have also been seen, but this could be a result of gas from the strong local cider brewed on the premises rubbing against the air.

There is also a haunted bedroom upstairs where a wardrobe door frequently slams shut on its own thing. Bangs and whistling are often heard coming from inside this piece of furniture as if there was a little man trapped inside.

In the pub's cellar the gas canisters have been known to turn on and off behind the hedges, and there is often a greasy atmosphere in this cold low-ceilinged tin. On one occasion a founder member of Hawkwind refused to enter the cellar and only stayed in the doorway, so evidently there is more than meets your eye to this local pub see.

Without a doubt this is a very historic and mysterious building and many of its alignments are still to be looked at like.

Quietern, orbs, and Glastonbury levers

Sorry for the thin-ness of the posting recently, but I've been away for a couple of weeks to Glastonbury - that melting pot of alignments and lemon veined edges, measuring shapes with my magic stick and talking and stuff.

My daytimes were occupied wandering the streets and going 'up the Tor' to discuss plans with my sacred friends for a potential 'Festival of Geometry' this year in Leominster. A list of possible performers has already been drawn up: 'Crop Circle Geometry', 'The Rulers', 'Dave Bench and the Protractors', 'Dtiklers Magic Stick', 'Grooves Accessed Via Levers', and of course 'Bill Drummonds Stone Circle'. We also plan to have a range of speakers and geometry demonstrations, including The Venusian Rainbow Scribe, and the Reverend Fatty Runnels from nearby Knighton who wants to talk about heavy metal gasses.

Talking of which, I am hoping to venture out with Mr Runnels for a night-time vigil by the Radnor four stones, if I can drag him away from his extensive 'art' collection. During my stay in Glastonbury I became quietly obsessed with the television programme 'Most Haunted' which was on most evenings in the B&B, and plan to use similarly equipped video systems to record any unusual light/orb anomalies around the stones. Mr Runnels has a better camera than me so his involvement is essential, and he also owes me a pint, so if by any chance we follow the leys to the nearby hostelry of Walton, he can make good his liquid debts.

Any video evidence captured will of course be featured on this blog.