Banners half grand

I popped o'er thrid mountains laiyek, up to Builth is it to visit The Banners last week as I'd heard he had some special news for me regarding the council's handling of local UFO reports. However when I reached his caravan he wasn't there and aside from a rubbery residue coating the lever on the rud, which appeared to possess a life of it's own, his site was deserted.

I could hear a bangen sound in the distance, followed by whoops of laughter which sounded strangely familiar so decided to head towards it, following my usual triangular discourse, and avoiding right angles. When I got to the stream I could see thab waster bangen on a gas canister laiyek.

'Good afternoon?' I enquired, 'I was wondering if you were free for a short discourse to provide a status update on how the council are handling the Radnor Forest UFO reports?'. There followed more cackling and banging of the cannister, and then he replied 'Ee hess god harf a grand laiyek from der social enut HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAR'

Realising it would be a folly to persue our pre-arranged meeting, I decided to follow the triangles back to the caravan, bisecting my original path with an awkward dog-leg transient which meant I had to crouch uncomfortably under the low bough of a tree, into a very cramped cupboard inside him. I paused for a while here, with the sound of bangen in the distance, becoming gently over-excited rubber UFO cone council rodney graham norton