Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Abergavenny Dental UFO

This is an extract from a book I found, lying on the floor of the gents lav near the shotty in Builth, I can't stop looking at it so hope you enjoy it too:

The circles intersecting the central concepts of Abergavenny, as defined by Bobbl Lozenge/Hors are defined as I AM THAT I AM = 543, or rather 79 teeth.

Worth noting here its Eoers….soor the 3.1x4…..another hint here towards pointing at pointy triangles.

Tiths nuematria ‘Jerical value ching Gaseus’ pitches in with the 345 triple leg. Banny debated this series of levers via a heated exchange in Abergavenny Waitrose laiyek, but conceded the  hairshapes/trinity /triangle could also mean the Chsatiaracter’ rather than a symbolic ‘nuistigumical shafty'.

8re is another pointer towards the greater realimctionirror of Moer8 and has been associated with Godel, and noted in works by other researchers. This gives us two sides of the 3, 4 , 5.

WASTAGAVENNY = You have known, you have understood
SHPLEEMG = 1184 as the Gemarchatria value

Monday, 27 July 2015

Builth caravan rubber owl triangles

Last week I paid another visit to The Banners in Builth, but when I got to hes caravan I discovered the whole outer shell covered with a lime green rubber/butter, which was being meticulously pecked at BY OWLS. I was outraged by this shocking spectacle, and became so angry I inadvertently twitched a small egg from my pocket, losing it immediately via a very small howell in the growend.

Whilst my eyes looked at the sticky van with owls, a dirty old man came shuffling up behind me, shouting something about triangles and reeking of stale kebs.

I turned to look at the shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man instead of the rubbery, owl laden van and realised my folly. This was no shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man. The shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man was actually the person I was there to visit, The Banners.

"Good grief wass 'appened to yous laiyek?" I muttered.

The Banners seemed unable to free himself from his world of triangles, but did manage, through a salivary mouthpiece, to slur the words "hess ayeter hess mind enut laiyek".

Pushing aside owls we thrusted our way into the caravan, carefully squeezing through the rubber-restricted doorway, getting my leg stuck around the back, before ducking inside and entering the cramped interior. Inside we found

Monday, 11 May 2015

Banners half grand

I popped o'er thrid mountains laiyek, up to Builth is it to visit The Banners last week as I'd heard he had some special news for me regarding the council's handling of local UFO reports. However when I reached his caravan he wasn't there and aside from a rubbery residue coating the lever on the rud, which appeared to possess a life of it's own, his site was deserted.

I could hear a bangen sound in the distance, followed by whoops of laughter which sounded strangely familiar so decided to head towards it, following my usual triangular discourse, and avoiding right angles. When I got to the stream I could see thab waster bangen on a gas canister laiyek.

'Good afternoon?' I enquired, 'I was wondering if you were free for a short discourse to provide a status update on how the council are handling the Radnor Forest UFO reports?'. There followed more cackling and banging of the cannister, and then he replied 'Ee hess god harf a grand laiyek from der social enut HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAR'

Realising it would be a folly to persue our pre-arranged meeting, I decided to follow the triangles back to the caravan, bisecting my original path with an awkward dog-leg transient which meant I had to crouch uncomfortably under the low bough of a tree, into a very cramped cupboard inside him. I paused for a while here, with the sound of bangen in the distance, becoming gently over-excited rubber UFO cone council rodney graham norton

Monday, 27 April 2015

Waste Pipe

Monday, 16 February 2015

Baileys Space Castle

Intergalactic electronic communication transmitted via the ether's, translated into geometric sound waves via the UMMU audio generators.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Danny Baker's Cascob Owl Fury

I was walken down o'er thrid towards Cascob like, along dat UFO road with the owls. You know the one, the one with the owls. Anyway's, I was walken down this road and it was getten dark like, and I'm not afraid to tell you that I was getten a bit scared like. All those funny owls looking at me, and then there's the UFO thing around the Radnor Forest...proper scary like.

I'm not sure how I got on that road as the last thing I could remember was being at the Swan in Kington. I'd had a few ciders laiyek and been deep in conversation with local baker Danny Baker. He was in a right old state like and really goin on about owls and Cascob and triangles and Radnor pyramids all that stuff that makes my head go funny if I think about it for too long.

Forget about that though, I'm tellen ye about the owl road, the one that leads to Cascob along the ole ridge. After a couple of miles I spotted a weird thing in the hedge. Like a cross between a small car and a big egg shaped thing. It looked a bit battered and wasted, like me LMFAO, and I stood and looked at him for a bit. I kept looking, and after I'd plucked up the courage, I went and rubbed it for a bit. It felt like a sort of wet rubber. I lifted the big flap thing on the front, and by squeezing into the front section, and ducking my head in I could just about reach the centre if I bent my leg around. Inside was a photo of Banny and a series of levers and complicated sums.

I was just getten comfy when I heard someone outside SHOUTEN AT THE RUBBER EGG at which point I forgot everything