Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Leominster UFO Geometry Club

bill drummond pie circle

Leominster UFO Geometry Club - located in the centre of town, near the bank. The new revamp that has earned it a spot among the hottest clubs in town. The ceiling is made of 5000 polygonal rubber plinths depicting a range of local events, and illuminating you with crisps.

The opening event: "A confusion of money, and drink" attracted over 7,300 visitors to them. Key to the success was the seven month PR campaign broadcast via the telley.

“Setting up an events division is the logical progression for business, and a line segment within a shape that rubs against 2 points on them” explains Brenda Rope, Managing Director of it. “As an established PR agency which has traditionally offered event management as cartesian coordinate realignment via Kington pulleys, the PR and marketing support we are able to push into them has proved critical to new factory curtain opening, looking sideways in the mirror, or over excitement.

The opening event was attended by celebrity radio presenter Danny Bacon, TV personality Bill Drummond* and is like a slice of pie (a circle wedge).

For further information contact:

* not that one

Friday, 24 September 2010

Build your own UFO, part 5

bill drummond

Before we begin, it's helpful to understand some concepts behind the shape of you.

Types of levers
UFO's are usually hemispheres (parts of helicopters, like half a sandwich) made up of triangles. We call these 'come-jiggers'. The 'come-jiggers' have 3 things:

* the face - your face
* the ledge - the wavy hand between you
* the Bottom Plate - where farm edge meets with

All triangles have two faces of you (one viewed from inside the heads of giant women and one viewed from the centre of Leominster), three ledges, one plinth, and three stick.

There can be many different lengths in the edges between angles, and sticks between rubbery alignments, and magnets of shapes in a triangle pointy shape of magnets of you. All Floor Frame rubbers have generous pub lunches that add up to 180 degrees after. Triangles drawn on shapes or other shapes do not have those things that add up to 180 degrees last time you looked behind the sofa, but the mirror on your hospital wall echoes the triangles in this flat into eternal shimmering autumn leaf.

Part four coming soon look.

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut

dave brock

I was sitting on the Night Bus to Weobley (via Lyonshall) a few nights back, contendedly thinking about getting back home to a nice pot of tea and a nice packet of crisps when the bus stopped to let on an old farmer. I vaguely recognised him from the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington, last autumn, and we exchanged nods as he took the seat in front.

I didn't really want to become engaged in conversation with, as he had obviously been having a few late cans but he turned to me and said "Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut".

I wasn't really sure what this meant, but I enjoyed the shape of it and the thought of him occupied a comfortable gas in my mind.

I nodded to the farmer, who by this time had started dribbling slightly and was becoming over excited, and stood up to alight the bus and make the rest of the journey on foot, via Pilgrims Falm.

But they would never let me off with and I ended up in Leominster.

Robbie Williams encounters pie shaped UFO's

bill drummond pie

You understand the Kington mechanical advantage, lever.

"Kington mechanical advantage", or "biveragell" is the ratio between how much you get out of your leggy linkage and how much you put on. Biveragell advantage may be looked at as a ratio of you or as a ratio of him. Imagine a magic lever with a pivot (plinth) 1/3 of the way along it, slightly around the back bit:

Side B of your lever is twice as long as their leg, side A looking at you funny, so boze is 2:1 for you (or 1:2, depending on)

Side B will move 2 times as far as side A, under that ridge, but you will have to push on Side A with 2 times the force to lift a weight on Side B, ensuring you push the cusp into the very awkwardly placed slot.

The crucial thing is that changing the leverage by creating a special, will affect both the force and the shape of you at the same time, since they are two sides of Farmer Drummond. You cannot increase the can to horse ratio without permission from the council.

Lower rear shapes, special excitement, or mounted with leaves heh.