Thursday, 24 November 2011

Can I have a triangle please Graham?

I recently overheard that the Graham Norton (not that one) is being rumoured to host a new version of the 70's gameshow classic 'Blockbuster'.

Local farmer Graham takes up the story: "Yeah I'm too young and gorgeous to remember him but they've shown me how to work the levers and we're doing it a bit different anyway innit. We'll be using shapes instead of numbers, and I'll be helped out by a posh alien bird for any difficult sums lol".

The bloke down The Swan says the show will be produced by Local Radnorshire Council and prizes are rumoured to include a tiny horse, Goffee The Clown, something titled 'poop n bone' (pronounced 'pup' 'un' bowne') - though to win the top prize of a weekend in Kington guests will have to squeeze through a small aperture, into a tiny cube taking care not to dislodge any cans, awkwardly positioning their arm around the back etc. without becoming over-excited.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Knighton man's threatening use of triangles

Ex aristocat Noel Krumple was recently taken away after reportedly using the above shapes in a threatening manner. Local eyes say he was seen repeatedly in the vacinity of the old town clock, which he insisted was his 'Tardis'. He employed a selection of screwdrivers and at one stage, even a small horse, but was unsucessful in his endeavours to levitate it from it's plinth.

"I've tried a series of triangles and rubbed them with special numbers, provided by doctors of high repute but the fickerelners aren't doin nuffin like". When asked why he was attempting such an unlikely feat he shouted "I WANTED TO SMELL THE MOON".

He was towed away by the local council who described Mr Krummple as 'a menis'.

Sunday, 23 October 2011

Almost invisible

Almost Invisible - new video by Monzo Joy - from the Soraya Space CD Ben Griffiths and the Radnorshire Remote.

Sunday, 9 October 2011

Mind Flight - WDK Boy

Latest video from them Mind Flight boys over Builth way.

Sunday, 25 September 2011

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

ISO File

Running around the clock tower (the old town clock) in their underpants, toasters...toasters? Nine ninety nine sing a little song/anglertds 1992 and the olde flanherrrrrrrrrn carnival vs Danny Chew.

Lol, the council? Codex bone.

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Monzo Joy presents: Offas 32 Specia

More weirdness vs UFO from Monzo Joy.

The last side of the triangle, from bendy leg to the pointlessness of Old Xaris however, shows little, if any significant extension in the shape of you. The fact that both lie at the same distance from Kington, might better be explained by the actual distance between Leominster chip shop and Lord Martinaughties Clasp, as both of these locations are natural outcrops protruding from you, which raises the interesting possibility that it was the distance between these two big rubbery things which played a part in determining Large Margaret's excitement.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Monzo Joy - Royal Wedding vs The Spar

Excerpt from a 3 CD trilogy documenting the coincidental location of small SPAR supermarkets on minor leylines throughout rural Mid-Wales. This track also documents how some became portals for a range of reconstituted meat products during the recent Royal Wedding.

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Monzo Joy - The Horn

Track from Monzo goals. Bruce Capricorn is an earth sign and signa. What's the new CD Bobbie Popl? Can he achieve any rubber with assticality, patience, tit featurints throughin exploring his stone? It is especialling pracaa with a common ratio of -1 and a scale factor unctility, solidity and wildly determinatiting levers across Xaris T to look intriguing heh.

I thinetting and reacl in the Rapunzel story sequence with a common ratio of 2 and a scale factor of 1 is 1, 2, Danny Bakerl, 8, 16, 32...etc

A sequence with of 3 is 5, -5, 5, ratexponential growth towarhinhak, sin'n' Kni the otherwise vast and slippery siggh

* Negative, the results in Kington recurrie, shelp us make sense of the circl -5, 5, -5,...the council might object, inside, to give us traction, footholds and inexpansourdsrelves. The story pens to the image of a stone at Thouunconscious-Hurrrrounginus near Walton striving onto the sphere of the symbol I'm most interested in - Traits Thatinn.

* Greater than 1, there will be atural world at Kwiksave. We lay down lines, triangles and squares on his birth chart.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Smelly Organ

New track 'Smelly Organ' from the Mind Flight boys new CD which will be titled 'The Night Bus', or something else where:

f = X-rato bicaty leafness heh controlrator focal-spot sizes.
a = distance from being foltiony sourcdetector distancese to front surface of you.
b = distance from the front surface of you, plus a couple of cans. The si, are used to cpecibject to the detectorspecimen-to-lculate tric unsection setup.


In (0.040 iralgenle amount is 1/100 of thal colins(up tonch lol).

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Tractor was approached by a rubbery UFO

Councillor Wynn Evans allegedly banned reporting of the “bizarre” incident, off the east ridge towards Gladestry, for half a century amid fears disclosures about unidentitified flying UFO's would create a stench about the locals.

He is said to have made the orders during a standing up drink with US General Reese Griffiths, the then commander of the whole thing, at an undisclosed location in The Swan public house, Kington.

The claims are contained in millions of drawings and pictures of declassified files on shapes, projected onto a curtin in Evancoyd WI by the Reverend John Naughty during one of his boring touristy speeches.

During his thing he said, on the English coast, possibly near Kington, their tractor was approached by a rubbery UFO which showered them with leaves, that were covered in a special gas encapsulating the surprise. Their shape on the floor read a proper message for them.

Photographs and a drawing of the object, which the man claimed had arranged a few cushions near you, were taken by the Graham Norton Plinth Society and reserved for special.

“Mr Graham Norton is reported to have made a declaration to the effect of the following: ‘Thivvent sateorse mass-panic adoneur Hand, the general population buppy bag7 of levers lol'"

Thursday, 14 April 2011

The Dustmen - 5

Here's a film of one of my favourite 90's Llandrindod bands, The Dustmen, taken from their full moon UFO party at The Central. These boys can swing a couple of levers almost across the length of the High Street, and I've heard that 274 is a favourite.

Apparently during this session 'Keith From Upstairs' appeared waving his magic stick at the goddam loonies and berating them for awakening 'The Gaffer' who had to be up early for his jaunt to Merthyr.

Give me more, but don't tell the council.

Monday, 4 April 2011

Mind Flight - Implied Basic Zero Dimension

New video from them Mind Flight boys over Llandrindod way.

Constructing a disconnected space:

Let X be an arbitrary rubber of topological space. Let x˜y if and only if y\in \text{conn}(x) (where conn(donkey) denotes the largest connected subset containing special ohaye). This is obviously an equivalence relationship regarding tractors. Endow X / ˜ with the quotient topology, i.e. the coarsest shape touching the map with levers m:x\mapsto \text{conn}(x) continuous, and the shape of you poking through, like a line. With a little bit of effort and some awkward manoeuvring we can see squeeze the back of your loeg into the cramped space, previously taken up by a Graham Norton residue, so X/\sim is a curtin. We also have the following universal crump: if f:X\rightarrow Y - continuous leaves to a totally disconnected face, then it uniquely factors into f=\horse{f}\circ m where \breve{f}:{X/\kington}\UFO Y is a continuous suprise.

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Saturday, 12 February 2011

The constellation of Aquarius superimposed on a map of Leominster

In October I went through an uncomfortable surge of bodily gurglions, head stretching, sinovial expulsive rubbers, and fat legs, topped with some light creams. Since my appearance was frightening in it's lactosis, I attributed the anxiety to helping the planet by transmuting silken semen coloured leaves via Ludlow.

To enable a cure in my mind, a candle had to be made. Ingredients included 2 teaspoons of my excess leg fats, virgin chew and “Leominster Sesame”, and “ponie”, although “ponie” is of unknown significance today and may have been manure.

After that medicine I could feel a big difference in my legs and arse. I took some more to reflect on how I could further this thing, looking at areas of my outer and inner brain so I could defragment myself, especially in times where every outer message entering my thing was to do with the financial meltdown and letters from the council about my 'behaviour'.

I asked myself “Why am I choosing to hold this? “Gives us our Hand back!” exclaimed the man. In reply I simply stared into the dark sending the man away.

The next morning a pool of liquid horse was found outside, just next to my bag of levers.

Thursday, 10 February 2011

UFO's exist, claims talking horse

Freud believed that horses symbolized the repressed stench of a lonely thing. A mare can represent the shape of you, while a stallion can stand several elipsoid rubber tronkions nose to face.

If you are a frightened horse, you may be uncomfortable with your leg, the one you are experiencing this moment, bouncing up and down at the back of it. Trying to control a horse can be a subconscious sign that you want more control over your leg.

A talking horse is the voice of your unconscious brain, moved into position by an old man, via levers. The man will know you are born under the Radnorshire astrological sign of Flahn-hraargh, represented by a creature that is half horse but mostly farmer.

Talking horse say "UFO come from sky, take cow, leave gasses and scare man".

Thursday, 3 February 2011

The Tale of My Rubbery UFO Councillor - A Ballad

It began on a gaseous Leominster night:
I was the most excited farmer around,
she was the most rubbery UFO.

She was my councillor,
My rubbery councillor,

We used to stick so well together,
Back then, during the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington.
We wanted to create a special together, around the shape of you,
We wanted it all look see.

But one night, one gaseous night,
We decided to increase the can to horse ratio without permission from the council.
Together we created a face made from golden rectangles.
It was shapes, so shapes.

From that moment our relationship changed.
She started to smell of.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

She aligned a Graham Norton.
A big Graham Norton!
My councillor aligned a Graham Norton.
It made a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth.

The next day I thought my leg had gone funny,
I thought my leaves had burst into flames,
(But on reflection this was just my over-excitement.)

But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that night,
That gaseous Leominster night.

My leaves... ouch!
When I think of that rubbery UFO,
That rubbery UFO and me.

Sunday, 16 January 2011

Thursday, 13 January 2011

I can smell the Moon

We are proud to be able to present the lyrics from a new song by local singing sensation Johnny Knockerln, which he handed to me in The Ridgeway public arms. Here are:

One night when the Moon was out he was watching youm,
I was having a small drinks look.
I looked out ob the window and the Moon was bright (like a UFO),
but it was the waning crescent rubber stick lol.
I can smell the Moon.

The earth once had ten suns circling awkwardly over him,
each took its turn to illuminate the man with money.
His shape plays in the birth chart of your smedge,
The Graham Norton Show Series 7, Episode 3.
I can smell the Moon.

Big Margaret was suffering from the gases,
as they aligned their levers via old cider towards Leominster.
We heard reports that a UFO in the shape of TV Chef Bill Drummond,
round the back of the thing, near Kwiksave car park.
I can smell the Moon.


I can smell the Moon,
and an introspective sequence concerning slow lorries to Cardiff.
I can smell the Moon,
and Big Margarets rubbery gases.
Was there a horse in here last night?