Sunday, 29 November 2009

Gong live in Bristol, Nov 2009

Me and some of the other old boys (including Big Margaret) went down to Bristol in Dennis Nixons minibus to watch our old favourites Gong. They had that young lad Hillage playing guitar with them, and I can tell you it was a real treat.

Unfortunately we missed the Hillage Band support due to the distractions of some very fine draught Addlestones brew-fest at a pub en-route (bit of French lingo there lol) but got there in time to watch the Gong boys braodcasting sausage gas and psychedelic alignments directly into our mind curatains, with Daevids magic stick transmissions projecting Planet Gong geometric excitement into the shape of you.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Blakey - a painted portrait

I done some painting the other day, so thought I'd share him with yous. It's a picture of Blakey, who ran after buses and considered advanced mathmatical equations in the seventies.

Much of his theory of lever gases and bus alignment had its origins in the work of Boltzmann in statistical mechanics problems where time and space distribution averages are equal. Steintithaus gives a practical application to 'Dannys Brew Frenzy Theorem' to keeping one foot on the side of the thing, and the other slightly awkwardly crooked around the back with the other arm pressed against the ledge whilst simultaneously balancing your cans on her.

The mathematical origins of conductivity and bus alignment are due to von don Gary Neumann, Baker, and Presley in the 1930s. It has since grown to be a huge thing on a plinth and has applications not only to statistical mechanics, but also to curtain theory, mind geometry, Drummond's analysis of it, and the shape of you. There are also many internal problems (e.g., tractor theorems being applied to giant women) which are interesting if you can be bothered.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Make your own crop circle

Make your own UFO corn dolly using magnetic alignments, some left over levers and some old juice from the Kington chip oil.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

The spiritually dynamic local farmer

bill drummond klf

Liquid Len sent in this, which he said he "read in a bok":

When coming closer via Leominster and the A44 locals can take two spiritual paths:

He either learns the path by walking around like a donkey, bumping into telleys and UFO's, and discovering the path through stench recognition, or he learns to develop his overused brewery senses to learn the path properly like. The latter process of developing one’s senses is called the “oop-la fahilingar o'er theer” or the “Bill Drummond Brew”, mastered without pain and without resorting to getting excited, but through leaves. To do this you need to duck under a wooden barrier, or curtain with your cans, angle your leg behind the thing. In this awkward and slightly painful position, slide your right leg between the doorshank, and squeeze the top of your face under a second, perpendicular stick, partially jamming your right shoulder into the shape of you.

The spiritually dynamic local farmer discovers that some things located on a plinth are truly resonances that we attract to help us expand and find behind the curtain what we have lost, up by Market Hill, about 5 o'clock last saturday.

By embracing his stick, the individuals shape is rendered like that of a barn, or protractor, or heavy drinker, to ascend in consciousness, and journey through the chip of life in a tiny glass horse called Peter. Truly, we can embrace our wobbly hands from “within” as there is no longer a reason to continue to learn through council depot training seminars can't come in boys you causin trouble

Monday, 2 November 2009

UFO shapes part 2 - 'The Trains'

joel grounds

This is taken from a book I found in Kington library look, 'UFO Shapes' by Dan Baker.

"UFO train" moving slowly with you.

Hello. I look at the sky alot, am an amateur horse. This report is of a vision I have seen in my mind, like a form of gas. My pop was losing a Wii Tennis game very badly, so I walked away from the house into a field a few mile away, near the skinheads, and was looking at the top of the trees (just behind the old can see the trees if you stand on a a small plinth and crane your neck lightly).

The 'ship' came from my left, roughly south-left and headed roughly north-right. The best way to describe what I was thinking about was as a "train". This train, or ship, or UFO was 3000 yards long and 3000 feet wide and aligned towards enjoyment. It was hoevering over the field not hoovering HAHA 2 feet above them and sounded like you. The noise was a rhythmic pumping pump pump. There were multiple sections like the carriages of a train, and they contained tiny people looking out at me frightened by it, and it had wheels made of real metal. It was moving rather slowly, perhaps 50 mph, but once it cleared the corner it speeded up a bit. I have never seen anything else like this despite living near Leominster for hunnert year.