Monday, 2 August 2010

Face machine/hold the pies

Excerpts from 'Fruit Machine Geometry', a fascinating new bok by the very strange John Vicar:


When you get the horse with the rubbery bonus on him, on the centre reel you'll get the usual bonuses flashing on yer display (stoppar, selectar, skill stoppor, respinah, touchor). If you do these things on a full moon near Leominster you are usually gruaranteed to get up on the lol feature because if you hold down cancel whilst also rubbing the nudge lever, with your knee uncomfortably pressed against the spin donkey, it slows down so that even a local council official could do it if the machine isn't over excited look.

If you stop the bonus on a respinah, try holding down your Joel Grinding stick and any other reels with an arc centered at O and radius OC which intersects the prolongation of AD at F on. This should just add him for a stretch and let you rub the bonus horse.

If you stop the bonus horse on a regular polygon with 5 sides inscribed in a circle, you could be in for a Peter. When you get the bingo dingo the dingo watch me lingo card in the bottom right of the machine, it usually starts flashing UFO numbers randomly, so all you have to do is keep stopping them using your mind gas, until you get a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth, but you can push on this and use the pleasestoplorriebarnes button to slow it down so you can create a face made from golden rectangles heh.

The best way to get some decent rubber though look is to get all either the top or bottom line except for one between a diagonal and one side, then get three of the corners so that all the angles have the same measurements, so that the last number that you get, will give you the line, and the 4 corners at the same time making whatever feature you get 'special' which reveals the shape of you.