Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Kutiman -Thru-you 04 - Babylon Band

I think this was recorded in the Oxford Arms, not sure though as I'd had a few:

Monday, 20 April 2009

The Leominster Orb

alex paterson

Today I'd like to talk about 'mysterious orbs'. You know the ones. Some people believe they are invisible evidence of alien spirits. However, many local researchers doubt whether orbs are ufo's at all. One popular theory proposes orbs are a form of energy that is used by ghosts and spookies to transport themselves, via Leominster, to the higher realms - like some big, round, glowing taxi. No one knows whether spirits are able to consciously harness this energy for use around the farm, but the same researchers theorise that the energy being transformed takes the form of a sphere, and this is why orbs appear as round balls, because they take the form of a sphere, or giant circle. Or ball.

Orbs are often witnessed at locations where some form of full moon festivity has reportedly taken place. Skeptics point out that instead of indicating something otherworldly, these occurrences can easily be explained away as:

* Local cider alignments
* Round tractors
* UFO's
* Giant circles
* Round balls

Some instances where orbs have shown up may be explained in the theories listed above, but can these theories possibly account for every instance of giant balls? That would mean that a lot of bewildered locals are making mistakes and getting the wrong end of the lever, or stick and seeing balls where they shouldn't. It would seem the truth lies somewhere in between Kington and Leominster.

Some investigators think that orbs that are either white or rubbery in appearance are an indication that a little man is trapped inside. It may also be a sign that the man is there to offer protection to local farmers. Rubbery energy is typically perceived as positive in nature, but don't touch it with your stick/smells a bit funny.

Keep in mind that these are just theories proposed by professional paranormal investigators, and they can't be considered real at this time. Perhaps one day parapsychologists or the council will be able to offer a definitive explanation for orb stuff. Until then, we will have to assume that it's a load of circles.

Friday, 3 April 2009

Illusion struggles

future sound of london

I haven't had any of these for a while...another email from 'The Venusian Rainbow Scribe' or 'Acid Head Terry from Leominster' as he's known locally.

Greetings, lovers of planet Earth! We welcome you inside our energy valves, and cosmic bendings. We offer you once again clues from the codex regarding your shifting human bodies and legs, to give you understanding on how these shapes work in connection with the celestial levers, and hope that you can gracefully weather gaseous displacement caused by over enthusiastic curtain opening.

Our cosmic nosetubs favorite saying is, "Align your barns to the stench of Norris!"

I have recently been affected by what I like to call 'illusion struggles'. This has occured on several occasions in the 'Bucket and Shovel' down on Market Hill. Pubs are a wonderful place to attempt alien shape meditation, though I am currently respecting a temporary ban from some local establishments which should be rectified shortly stop
behave please don't lorrie barnes.

After an evenings ritualistic cider consumption I have had difficuly locating the correct geometry of the shpere. Sometimes the sphere manifested as a symmetrical solid, but the sphere is different in kind from the five symmetrical solids you find in a typical barn. The sphere, however, is the shape that all five symmetrical solids appear to form when they are rubbed rapidly by a over excited farmer. That is, the sphere is the resulting image or illusion that appears when any one of the five symmetrical solids rotates very rapidly like a big round thing.

In this way, spheres are examples of illusions within illusions inside hair shapes - that is, the symmetrical solids are illusions themselves that take on the illusional shapes of spheres when they are rubbed about with a magic stick. The resulting bobbing and spherical illusions within illusions usually resulted in my naked form falling out of alignment of the pub, only to be discovered by a shocked farmers wife by the kerbside early on market day - twice in the past month.