Builth caravan rubber owl triangles

Last week I paid another visit to The Banners in Builth, but when I got to hes caravan I discovered the whole outer shell covered with a lime green rubber/butter, which was being meticulously pecked at BY OWLS. I was outraged by this shocking spectacle, and became so angry I inadvertently twitched a small egg from my pocket, losing it immediately via a very small howell in the growend.

Whilst my eyes looked at the sticky van with owls, a dirty old man came shuffling up behind me, shouting something about triangles and reeking of stale kebs.

I turned to look at the shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man instead of the rubbery, owl laden van and realised my folly. This was no shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man. The shuffling, disgusting, filthy old man was actually the person I was there to visit, The Banners.

"Good grief wass 'appened to yous laiyek?" I muttered.

The Banners seemed unable to free himself from his world of triangles, but did manage, through a salivary mouthpiece, to slur the words "hess ayeter hess mind enut laiyek".

Pushing aside owls we thrusted our way into the caravan, carefully squeezing through the rubber-restricted doorway, getting my leg stuck around the back, before ducking inside and entering the cramped interior. Inside we found

Bill Drummonds lub ole ironum

I had an idea that all the horses on this website were going to be replaced by tiny pieces of paper with joined-up writing on them. Boppers would descend upon these little treasures as if witnessing Nortons Chococalte Delight. Or Robby Wlilliams watchen a UFO like. Or Bill Drummonds lub ole ironum. Or Danny Bakers lovely spume.

Anyway up we went inside the triangle, right up to the top of the clock tower only delayed slightly by having to climb through the very narrow opening at the bit next to the levers, where I had to angle my leg past the thing, then crouch under the retention beam before dislocating my back feature allowing me to manoever sideways into a space smaller than a vicars residue.

It was worth it though.

Drummonds UFO Circles

The Codex Part 3

2 for convex polyhedra by I don't take orders from Daleks

2 for convex polyhedra by I don't take orders from Daleks, from the second disk in their 7 CD set release 'Dual cone biorthogonal expansion shapes'.

From the back cover:

One way to think ofsysermer LaTelosed bonvex cone, while biorthogonal expay hie is tormalized my a fores to det:

\,0 \leqgy bitt \leggy in the coordinates, round the back of a pointed cona fnine me mucnition \,\phi\aker lol

The piano bits is convex if and only if:

\,t_j \geqgyleg 0\, for #\,j = 1, 2\ldots n\, then alanship margaret

ALANSHIP titl kieq 1\, and Lbberlatio\phi(ta + (1-t)b) + (1-t) \phi(b)pic coordihe quadrconic sant or simpy kc3structures.

Generally nonorthogo verym\, arnd of coordinate system evancoydd wo any pointeh like the familiar Cartesian system whose leggy generalized eggy whenevatnBy defihsed convex cone is as a newomain of council\,\phixitement\,.

It follows by induction on \,n\ose basis is gous conion is simpmua yst!

Asda UK TV Advert shape, 1980

The Nixon Experiments Pt2

Electronkington collisions against the thing can result in intense UFO magic and four corners of hair. 'The lever of agreement' is a special shape, designed for female cudgeons. In Radnorshire, they say to dream of a cow means that she must get ready for thedelledonizatiose fromatomic targets and crisps.

To dream of a *black* cow means magical back inversions, uneerimental aimes and an invisible Richard. New dativea measured food to areas of Danny Baker coinage, sprayed on all over like.

These include:

1. the s from various quan chemistry of the Earth's upper ledge
2. and Peter, the laughing horse.

The Radnor Forest Old Toffee Bopper Brigade Network also involves:

Anti-Deodorant Leaves.

I have been informed of important collisions around the inner bevel. The first theme uses high quality ducking medge at the University of Cascob, and their telectron scattering can be compared to reading a beard newspaper between Ne, Ar, Klf, Kc3, Kr and Xe.

The Codex, part 2 - The constellation of Aquarius superimposed on a map of Leominster

Triangle Boy

Bill Drummond Farm Circles

"20 questions for money", she said.

I just wanted to interview Big Margaret and find out what shapes she'd seen overhead recently, but she was having none of my UFO rubber.

I've also had no luck tracking down the Radnor Forest pyramids either. I've been up there a coupla times look but when I get to the top field (just past the tree that looks at my arse) it feels as if my face is being pushed into a rectangular plastic container. I've tested this back at the barn and it produces a series of cheek ridges that leave me looking like a rustic crisp.

"A packet of fags then......"

We wanted to do a Bill Drummond 'questions for yous' Graham Norton don't touch triangle but she's not having it so sorry boys. I'll try and post some sacred geometry farm levers this week if I don't get over excited.

KLF live, Knighton Community Centre, 1972

I was sent this one from the internet visa versa Wynn Price - thanks lad. He says it shows the pop group performing their hit 'The Sideboard Song' in Knighton town horse in the early 70's. I looked this up and queried the date with Wynn who passed me onto his father, old farmer Chedwyn who was at the concert. He seems to think they might have been called 'KC3 and the Dave Band' but as he was well oiled he can't quite remember.

"I picked up this ol' fag packet after the gig look see, Chas Drummond 'dropped' him..."

I have examined the packet (Players No. 7) and there is indeed a badly written set list on him. If this is correct, and the whole thing isn't some farmers idea of a UFO hoax, then the set list is as follows:

1. Space intro (keep it going for a bit)
2. Ravey bit (get Big Margaret on)
3. Justified and slightly Left Aligned
4. Doctor in the Hospital
5. Sideboard Song

#BINGO#

6. Cake Circles ( experimental new song, don't know)
7. Drummonds Bees
8. Gertcha (Welsh version)
9. Noises for the leg
10.The Shape of You (12inch DJ runnybotham mix)
11.UFO Valves (over excited version)
12.Graham Norton/Danny Baker
13.Feedback/go home

#FIGHTING#

Tiny horse UFO show

Found this on that You Tube thing the other night, some old boy put him up:

"I witnessed the glowing hors over the fields of radnorshire it was like a mental UFO"

The Circles of Dennis

The Circles of Dennis, or 'Dennis Circl' were thought to be a series of massive, invisible mystery temples located near Radnorshire UFO hotspot - Builth Well. Hovering several feet above farmland, and at their centres were tiny glass horses, one of which, so we've been told is in the private collection of Lord Toffee Bopper. They are thought to have been constructed via dreams and levers by the same tribe responsible for the fabled Kington and Radnor Forest pyramids. More on those at a later date lol.

Historian Agnes Martiyes, already half way through her first book on the subject "The Dennis Circles of Danny Baker", with calendar and associated merchandising deals secured described the circles as "A wonderful opportunity for money".

We asked Carl Barnard, lead singer with local space band Mind Flight how this would affect sales of their forthcoming album based on local cosmonolgy. He said "I PUT AN AMIGA HARD DRIVE....ON EBAY AND IT ONLY MADE 4 QUID HAHAHAHAHAHA. DO YOU SELL MATCHES?"

Summary: A circle is hreeeee parts: long as theudeFGts boberln inside you, the points outside the circle and the points on the Danny Baker inside, but not Graham Norton. Rhaame a radius, diameter and glass horse, Peter. All Council diameters are asxtends into th po5 inches ÷ 2 = 2.5 incheints the same distance from its flat. but suggested that local magic circles mustn't get over excited. What are AC and DG? Heh. They refused to comment.

Can I have a triangle please Graham?

I recently overheard that the Graham Norton (not that one) is being rumoured to host a new version of the 70's gameshow classic 'Blockbuster'.

Local farmer Graham takes up the story: "Yeah I'm too young and gorgeous to remember him but they've shown me how to work the levers and we're doing it a bit different anyway innit. We'll be using shapes instead of numbers, and I'll be helped out by a posh alien bird for any difficult sums lol".

The bloke down The Swan says the show will be produced by Local Radnorshire Council and prizes are rumoured to include a tiny horse, Goffee The Clown, something titled 'poop n bone' (pronounced 'pup' 'un' bowne') - though to win the top prize of a weekend in Kington guests will have to squeeze through a small aperture, into a tiny cube taking care not to dislodge any cans, awkwardly positioning their arm around the back etc. without becoming over-excited.

Knighton man's threatening use of triangles

Ex aristocat Noel Krumple was recently taken away after reportedly using the above shapes in a threatening manner. Local eyes say he was seen repeatedly in the vacinity of the old town clock, which he insisted was his 'Tardis'. He employed a selection of screwdrivers and at one stage, even a small horse, but was unsucessful in his endeavours to levitate it from it's plinth.

"I've tried a series of triangles and rubbed them with special numbers, provided by doctors of high repute but the fickerelners aren't doin nuffin like". When asked why he was attempting such an unlikely feat he shouted "I WANTED TO SMELL THE MOON".

He was towed away by the local council who described Mr Krummple as 'a menis'.

Mind Flight - Implied Basic Zero Dimension

New video from them Mind Flight boys over Llandrindod way.

Constructing a disconnected space:

Let X be an arbitrary rubber of topological space. Let x˜y if and only if y\in \text{conn}(x) (where conn(donkey) denotes the largest connected subset containing special ohaye). This is obviously an equivalence relationship regarding tractors. Endow X / ˜ with the quotient topology, i.e. the coarsest shape touching the map with levers m:x\mapsto \text{conn}(x) continuous, and the shape of you poking through, like a line. With a little bit of effort and some awkward manoeuvring we can see squeeze the back of your loeg into the cramped space, previously taken up by a Graham Norton residue, so X/\sim is a curtin. We also have the following universal crump: if f:X\rightarrow Y - continuous leaves to a totally disconnected face, then it uniquely factors into f=\horse{f}\circ m where \breve{f}:{X/\kington}\UFO Y is a continuous suprise.

The Tale of My Rubbery UFO Councillor - A Ballad

It began on a gaseous Leominster night:
I was the most excited farmer around,
she was the most rubbery UFO.

She was my councillor,
My rubbery councillor,
My UFO.

We used to stick so well together,
Back then, during the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington.
We wanted to create a special together, around the shape of you,
We wanted it all look see.

But one night, one gaseous night,
We decided to increase the can to horse ratio without permission from the council.
Together we created a face made from golden rectangles.
It was shapes, so shapes.

From that moment our relationship changed.
She started to smell of.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

She aligned a Graham Norton.
A big Graham Norton!
My councillor aligned a Graham Norton.
It made a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth.

The next day I thought my leg had gone funny,
I thought my leaves had burst into flames,
(But on reflection this was just my over-excitement.)

But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that night,
That gaseous Leominster night.

My leaves... ouch!
When I think of that rubbery UFO,
That rubbery UFO and me.

Simon Cowell: "UFO's are funny"

At last weeks Painscastle UFO Society meeting Simon Cowell (not that one, Bill Cowells boy over Brilley way...) shocked members by standing up and making the following statement:

"No offence Wynn (he'd just interrupted Wynn Griffiths, Chairman of the society, during his lecture on UFO shapes) but I think UFO's are funny like. I know yous boys think different, right, but me an the lads set one up, right, out on top of fathers field."

This revelation caused a damp ripple of excitement in the hall. He continued:

"We got an old portable chicken shed, right, and just for a laugh like painted him silver like. We didn't mean nuthin by it look, it was just for a laugh. We used shovels for levers, and painted ALIEN GAS on the side. It was just a bit of fun, heh."

At this point Big Margaret raised her hand and asked Simon when this 'prank' had been constructed. The response caused the hall to erupt into chaos, with farmers shouting out and knocking over chairs and that. It turns out that several of the old boys had seen something very similar rise up into the air and take off at speed over Hergest Ridge.

"Yeah well it did disappear from the field right, but we reckon it was the council."

The Russell Brand Center Explanations

The Russell Wheel Center begins at the number, and increases one unit clockwise dressed as a comedy pirate. The red line shows a full rotation, or 360 degrees up you from a price of 34 that would target a rubber flange.

The turn on the tractor unit is faster, but the turn on the tractor unit is slower. All you can do, is get as much practice using the tractor unit as possible - it will become second-nature eventually, like some sort of thing. The technique is the same, but the way the tractor unit behaves is different, but eventually the whole thing will become second-nature, and as predictable as Graham Norton popping up on.

Big Brenda told me: "You need to practise. It's like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets. Cant you stay late at work and practice reversing into the bays?" And later, rather bewilderingly: "Bring me a glass horse! On a plinth!"[47]

Such wobbly hand analysis can be made to look extremely complex, like a really complicated shape. But like Fibonacci Retracements, wielding with his magic stick, like a whole stretch. Because the number 15 is aligned with zero we need make no further adjustments to the shape of you.

Draw a circle that touches all four sides of the Bill Drummond. The circle has 360 degrees to complete a full blinblinlibblylilibblyli rotation inside sausage gas. The top of the circle can be viewed into Daevids magic stick as our starting point, or "hranger found them". Now divide the circle into equal wangers. As we move clockwise to the right wangle we rub against the 45 degree unit of the wangerlee. The first shape at the right triangle is 90 degrees and is released by squeezing Bill Drummond. Continue shuffling clockwise until we return to Leominster Kwiksave and complete the journey around the car park with a carrier full of cans.

*Enjoyment*

The Leominster UFO Geometry Club

Leominster UFO Geometry Club - located in the centre of town, near the bank. The new revamp that has earned it a spot among the hottest clubs in town. The ceiling is made of 5000 polygonal rubber plinths depicting a range of local events, and illuminating you with crisps.

The opening event: "A confusion of money, and drink" attracted over 7,300 visitors to them. Key to the success was the seven month PR campaign broadcast via the telley.

“Setting up an events division is the logical progression for business, and a line segment within a shape that rubs against 2 points on them” explains Brenda Rope, Managing Director of it. “As an established PR agency which has traditionally offered event management as cartesian coordinate realignment via Kington pulleys, the PR and marketing support we are able to push into them has proved critical to new factory curtain opening, looking sideways in the mirror, or over excitement.

The opening event was attended by celebrity radio presenter Danny Bacon, TV personality Bill Drummond* and is like a slice of pie (a circle wedge).

For further information contact:



* not that one

Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut

I was sitting on the Night Bus to Weobley (via Lyonshall) a few nights back, contendedly thinking about getting back home to a nice pot of tea and a nice packet of crisps when the bus stopped to let on an old farmer. I vaguely recognised him from the Ley Hunters Annual Conference in Kington, last autumn, and we exchanged nods as he took the seat in front.

I didn't really want to become engaged in conversation with, as he had obviously been having a few late cans but he turned to me and said "Bill Drummond is as sexular juggernaut".

I wasn't really sure what this meant, but I enjoyed the shape of it and the thought of him occupied a comfortable gas in my mind.

I nodded to the farmer, who by this time had started dribbling slightly and was becoming over excited, and stood up to alight the bus and make the rest of the journey on foot, via Pilgrims Falm.

But they would never let me off with and I ended up in Leominster.