Can I have a triangle please Graham?

I recently overheard that the Graham Norton (not that one) is being rumoured to host a new version of the 70's gameshow classic 'Blockbuster'.

Local farmer Graham takes up the story: "Yeah I'm too young and gorgeous to remember him but they've shown me how to work the levers and we're doing it a bit different anyway innit. We'll be using shapes instead of numbers, and I'll be helped out by a posh alien bird for any difficult sums lol".

The bloke down The Swan says the show will be produced by Local Radnorshire Council and prizes are rumoured to include a tiny horse, Goffee The Clown, something titled 'poop n bone' (pronounced 'pup' 'un' bowne') - though to win the top prize of a weekend in Kington guests will have to squeeze through a small aperture, into a tiny cube taking care not to dislodge any cans, awkwardly positioning their arm around the back etc. without becoming over-excited.

Knighton man's threatening use of triangles

Ex aristocat Noel Krumple was recently taken away after reportedly using the above shapes in a threatening manner. Local eyes say he was seen repeatedly in the vacinity of the old town clock, which he insisted was his 'Tardis'. He employed a selection of screwdrivers and at one stage, even a small horse, but was unsucessful in his endeavours to levitate it from it's plinth.

"I've tried a series of triangles and rubbed them with special numbers, provided by doctors of high repute but the fickerelners aren't doin nuffin like". When asked why he was attempting such an unlikely feat he shouted "I WANTED TO SMELL THE MOON".

He was towed away by the local council who described Mr Krummple as 'a menis'.