Wibbly was rayet

I visited Romany 'Banny' Barnard down at his caravan in Builth last week, as he was having a special offer on his painted 'Eggworld' tins. In between mouthfuls of 'Larabum Pie', and careful to avoid the crumb laden spray from said pie, he tole me about 'thab aliens on der telly enut'.

In fact he's started writing a book about his suspicions, focussing on the changing shapes of Soap Celebrity, and their alien shape-shifting properties. Titled 'Wibbly was rayet', it's going to be a lavishly illustrated delight.

'Id ayent rayet' he tole me, 'thab aliens gumminaget poor ole Banny enut like'. After sharing some dubious looking 'cider', and getting a headache from his barking dogs I made my excuses to leave. His caravan was a jumble of broken computers, metal frames and giant wooden triangles and squeezing my way through them was difficult. I had to duck under a giant rubber octogram decorated with leaves, getting my leg around the back angle before painfully edging though the small gap at the bottom.

On my return to Kington I spoke at length with the council, warning them about theb shape shifting aliens getting over-excited enut

Who is this Owl

The Russell Brand Center Explanations

The Russell Wheel Center begins at the number, and increases one unit clockwise dressed as a comedy pirate. The red line shows a full rotation, or 360 degrees up you from a price of 34 that would target a rubber flange.

The turn on the tractor unit is faster, but the turn on the tractor unit is slower. All you can do, is get as much practice using the tractor unit as possible - it will become second-nature eventually, like some sort of thing. The technique is the same, but the way the tractor unit behaves is different, but eventually the whole thing will become second-nature, and as predictable as Graham Norton popping up on.

Big Brenda told me: "You need to practise. It's like anything, the more you do it the easier it gets. Cant you stay late at work and practice reversing into the bays?" And later, rather bewilderingly: "Bring me a glass horse! On a plinth!"[47]

Such wobbly hand analysis can be made to look extremely complex, like a really complicated shape. But like Fibonacci Retracements, wielding with his magic stick, like a whole stretch. Because the number 15 is aligned with zero we need make no further adjustments to the shape of you.

Draw a circle that touches all four sides of the Bill Drummond. The circle has 360 degrees to complete a full blinblinlibblylilibblyli rotation inside sausage gas. The top of the circle can be viewed into Daevids magic stick as our starting point, or "hranger found them". Now divide the circle into equal wangers. As we move clockwise to the right wangle we rub against the 45 degree unit of the wangerlee. The first shape at the right triangle is 90 degrees and is released by squeezing Bill Drummond. Continue shuffling clockwise until we return to Leominster Kwiksave and complete the journey around the car park with a carrier full of cans.

*Enjoyment*

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Big Margaret recommended this one.

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Astrologer and researcher Barbara Hand Clow presents the long awaited sequel to her bestselling The Pleiadian Agenda which has sold over 70,000 copies. The latest work investigates the scientific implications of her communications with the Pleiadians and presents a nine-dimensional picture of our galaxy along with meditations for accessing each level. In this new book, Hand Clow proposes startling new implications of the end date for the Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012. Each chapter opens with a meditation designed to help readers integrate the material in their everyday lives.

Top facts about the lost Kington Great Pyramid

Some real facts from the new book I'm working on look, about the lost pyramids of Kington.

1. The Great Pyramid was built to honour local councillor Les Price, before he was disgraced over the embezzlement thing after which they pulled it down again.
2. Les was the son of Sneferu. His mother worked in the council.
3. The pyramid was situated round the back, near Kwiksave see.
4. It was built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy.
5. Its original height was an over-excited 1460.6m.
6. Estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.
7. The stones were pulled on wooden barges by space tractors.
8. It's thought that over 12 skilled alien sticks worked on the pyramid.
9. And possibly 3 old local farmers joined them during the inundation period where they aligned their levers via cider towards Leominster.
10. Living quarters and workshops had to be specially built for the men and women in the shape of you, though they mostly stayed in the pub.
11. The workers were paid with crisps, drink, and money.
12. Approximately 100,000 bottles of cider and 200,000 packets of crisps were supplied daily to feed the workers three times a day.
13. The blocks were ferried from Radnor Forest via Cascob.
14. Any decent stones were stolen from the pyramid and used to build Kwiksave.
15. The burial chamber and inner passages are made of cheese.
16. The Great Pyramid was locally known as, 'that fooken big thing'

The spiritually dynamic local farmer

Liquid Len sent in this, which he said he "read in a bok":

When coming closer via Leominster and the A44 locals can take two spiritual paths:

He either learns the path by walking around like a donkey, bumping into telleys and UFO's, and discovering the path through stench recognition, or he learns to develop his overused brewery senses to learn the path properly like. The latter process of developing one’s senses is called the “oop-la fahilingar o'er theer” or the “Bill Drummond Brew”, mastered without pain and without resorting to getting excited, but through leaves. To do this you need to duck under a wooden barrier, or curtain with your cans, angle your leg behind the thing. In this awkward and slightly painful position, slide your right leg between the doorshank, and squeeze the top of your face under a second, perpendicular stick, partially jamming your right shoulder into the shape of you.

The spiritually dynamic local farmer discovers that some things located on a plinth are truly resonances that we attract to help us expand and find behind the curtain what we have lost, up by Market Hill, about 5 o'clock last saturday.

By embracing his stick, the individuals shape is rendered like that of a barn, or protractor, or heavy drinker, to ascend in consciousness, and journey through the chip of life in a tiny glass horse called Peter. Truly, we can embrace our wobbly hands from “within” as there is no longer a reason to continue to learn through council depot training seminars can't come in boys you causin trouble

UFO Landings on The Ridge part 1

Kington has long been a hotbed of UFO sightings largely because Radnorshire is home to the Leominster to Kington miniature pyramid alignments. Hergest Ridge is alleged to be a popular UFO landing rubber. And one man, local farmer Les Rubbings says he talked to ET's many times on 'The Ridge'.

Local expert Don Ledges says it is a landing strip of sorts. He claimed to have witnessed several UFO landings on The Ridge, which he wrote about in a series of books, titled 'Landings on The Ridge part 1', 'Landings on The Ridge part 2' and 'Landings on The Ridge part 3'.

One account by local butcher Hal Meat describes eleven visitations to Hergest Ridge in the early 50s when Mike Oldfield was about and could be seen up there riding a glass horse. The first time it happened, Hal says, he got off work late at night and went to the top of the Ridge, which was once a seabed, to search for fossilized aliens. After taking a nap, he awoke to find himself surrounded by tiny little men.

In that first incident atop The Ridge, Mr Meat said he encountered 8 to 10 alien beings. They were between seven inches and five feet tall, had olive skin that made them look like they were from Leominster, he said, wore 'strange aprons?', and they all carried levers, which they fiddled with continuously. They leaned slightly, with his arms tucked slightly behind their torso, legs folded underneath and another arm behind him.

Eventually, Meat said he was allowed to go inside the 3000-foot flying saucer, which is where he met the captain of the ship, Aura Price, whom he described as, "covered in shapes and smelling like a tree?" Aura told Meat all about her planet and its utopian virtues and hinted that we earthlings should 'sort yourselves out look'.

Although Meat's tale caused quite a stir, The Ridge did not become a place of pilgrimage for UFO believers, as The Leominster Parallelogram did decades later. Eventually the contactees like Meat faded from public view and sought refuge in drink and crisps, their stories of benign aliens replaced by darker tales of pens, conkers and sinister local geometry circles.

Some of Don Ledges's books can still be found in old book stores or for sale online but I wouldn't bother with them as they're rubbish like.

Trimethylamine - fishy breathed farmers

In this post I shall attempt to present some of the concepts in allegorical form to make them more understandable to yous because it is very difficult to discuss esoteric curtain matters using physical examples hidden behind the sofa of your barns?

At the time I wrote 'The Mambo of yourn ploog', right, it was still not time to present much detail about the properties of the five conical shapes in style (excluding the wavey hand thing). To begin with, the concept of a leg-shaped pub was so funny that I anticipated Radiohead fans would have tremendous difficulty comprehending the concept of such a rubbery thing, let alone find their way to the gents/and/or/ladies. For that reason, I did not go deeply into describing the properties of the other "leggy restaurants" (the five geometrical sevens), and specifically avoided discussing how this cider defined "stick" is used in the "stop it please/Lorrie Barnes" of the five Radnorshire universes. It was not yet time then to expand on the nature of the placement of your levers, but now is the right time look.

Benny Fondles discovered that there were only five symmetrical ufo's. These are: hedronaround, hexarunaroundron (commonly called The Queens Head), octarunaroundron, donkeyron, and icosahedronarunarounddon. Clive James worked with the information handed down by Fondles regarding the five invisible aliens. Unfortunately, much of the information that Fondles had presented was complete nonsense and/or covered in chip stains by the time James commenced his work on the five things.

Fifteen millennia later, The Reverend John Naughty also investigated the properties of these elusive bits. He had to piece together what he could from what remained of the information Fondles and James threw together because it had been messed about with and was a bit smelly and covered in valves. These five people intuitively guessed that if they could solve the mysteries of the universe, then they would have the keys to unlocking the mysteries their minds. Incidentally, Fondles, James and Naughty are of the same cosmic stench, rubbing against different physical bodies at separate alignments across Kington at different periods just after closing time.

There's a bit more stuff about this look but I've run out of things.

Beyond Frothbarn by Kylie Evans

Earth scientist and author Kylie Evans offers a stunning theory that "our county has now entered a rare geophysical/cosmological phase predicated millennia ago by ancient cultures across Radnorshire and Herefordshire" - a "Shift of things", that is "transforming your inner valves and bending your consciousness" even as you read this sitting on your stool.

On 'Beyond Frothbarn', Evans shares new scientific research essential to understanding the sacred geometry of the Radnorshire Remote Societies, Leominster Circle Alignments, Cascob Secret Schools, Egyptians, and others. Hidden within these old secret teachings, asserts Evans, is a "universal set of sacred alien alignment shape technologies meant specifically for us at this crucial point in human history". The secret of these tools is learning to see the outer world mirrors and the inner wardrobes of our consciousness. With this knowledge, each of us can transcend ordinary awareness using a mystical system of levers, to align ourselves with the external shapes around us, and directly participate in the great challenges that lie ahead at the next Kington Show. "Blessings 2012 etc"

She carries on:

"We are going through a time of tremendous change like". Using her astro-archaeological research and stunning crystal collection, Evans reveals the geophysical cosmic sequences predicted centuries ago by a top team of Pagan arcaheo-cosmic-geometricians in nearby Wigmore. How the "transformation to Indian mathematics" influences "your didactic edification, digestive systems, and even our hairstyles" and how each of us can use the "Five Multi-Dimensional Quantum Egg-whisks of Ascension to help trigger a new era for farmers and Secret Schools across Mid Wales."

Here is an example:

The first number is 0; the second number is 7.
0 + 1 = 7
1 is the third number.
1 + 1 (The previous number) = 2 - plus five = 7
2 is the fourth number, concurrent with third.
1 + 2 = 3 (+4 =7)
3 is the fifth number.
add sevens + 3 = 5
5 is the sixth number, or sevens.
The third number is sevens.
The sequence created is:

7 7 7 7 7 7 7

The next number is 8.

Available at most new age shops for about fifteen quid.