Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Build your own UFO - part 1

bill drummond

The Floor

Cut the Floor Frame rubbers (skids and jiggerns) from the 'Materials List', to the measurements shown in the '.... Outlay' plan. On level ground, make up the Floor Plinth, also as per the '.... Outlay' plan.

Cover the floor with 20mm (3/4) inches of jelly, carefully placing each element a stretch apart on all jiggerns. Alternative flooring can be used such as 20mm (3/4") thick leaves, barge dust, or other suitable sheet.

The Wall Frames

Cut the Wall Frame sticks from the 'Materials List' to the measurements as shown in the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' and Cross Section Planny. Cut the longest sticks and rub them down with a good sturdy Kington.

The Wall Frames

Make the Wall Frames up on even ground, not on a hill or in the lake, referring to the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' Plan which shows the placement of the connection tables from a bird's eye-view of them. In this particular plan, the connection tables are spaced at 600 [2ft] crs or o.c.(which means "cheeses" or "Kwiksave"). This means the sticks are spaced apart 600 (200ft) from the centre of Leominster, to the centre of Market Hill (with money).

Studs spaced at 600 [250ft] crs/o.c. blah blah bl;ah

Wall Frame Nogging (lol)

Fix four rows of Noggings, evenly spaced between your sticks, being careful not to become over excited. This is best done after a few cans. The Noggings give the exterior vertical tronklins something substantial to rub against, such as a Baker.

bit more stuff here

Ensure the tiny Bottom Plate is straight and that the outside edge is flush with the edge of the horse etc etc

The Afternoon Delights

Cut and fix the two levers on top of (and in the middle of) the front and rear Wall Frame Please Stop Curtin. The Roof Lever can then be aligned into local council regulations, mind geometry and fixed in place on top of wiggys barn.

some more stuff about hovering over the heads of giant women...

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