I keep looking at an owl

 I was on my way home on the bus like, gummen back from Builth o'er thrid after visiting thab waster Carl enut, when I spotted an owl outside. He/she was desperately trying to keep up the the bus, flappin hess wings in a demented way until he was shrouded by rubbery trees and shaken from my view. When I got home I pulled out my 'Owls of Radnorshire' guide and there he was - this big ole boy callet 'The Cascob Shaker'. I looked at his photo, and it felt like he was looken at me.

I shut the book and went into my old cupboard/pantry out the back to see if I had any booze. The door doesn't fully open so I have to jamb it as far as he'll go, then squeeze myself in sideways, whilst ducking my head below the triangular shelf at the top. It means my leg is at a funny angle but if you get it just right you can get in and out again without rubbing. I've asked the council to sort it out but they arn listenin.

Anyway I foun a bottil of ole Wiggers cider from the Kington Spar and necked that for a bit. The rubbery residue danced on my tongue like Drummonds dandruff, and charged me with special UFO magic. Fortified, I crept back into the living room and was terrified to see the book open on the floor, The Cascob Shaker staren up at me with a look of disgust on his feathery little face. I can't stop looking at him, and I'm getting really over-excited horses Danny Baker triangles levers rubbed down with leaves by the Evancoyd WI stop it

The Nixon Experiments Pt2

Electronkington collisions against the thing can result in intense UFO magic and four corners of hair. 'The lever of agreement' is a special shape, designed for female cudgeons. In Radnorshire, they say to dream of a cow means that she must get ready for thedelledonizatiose fromatomic targets and crisps.

To dream of a *black* cow means magical back inversions, uneerimental aimes and an invisible Richard. New dativea measured food to areas of Danny Baker coinage, sprayed on all over like.

These include:

1. the s from various quan chemistry of the Earth's upper ledge
2. and Peter, the laughing horse.

The Radnor Forest Old Toffee Bopper Brigade Network also involves:

Anti-Deodorant Leaves.

I have been informed of important collisions around the inner bevel. The first theme uses high quality ducking medge at the University of Cascob, and their telectron scattering can be compared to reading a beard newspaper between Ne, Ar, Klf, Kc3, Kr and Xe.

Kington Show Alignments

COMPANION DOG of the show.

Horticue feKg date is SATURDAY 1st SEPTEMBER.

Lehedral & Domestic Sectibakers on Bill Drummond, on the da8.

Young Falions RODSHIRE YOU with further records, namely in the shape of an entrlosing enEFdate for UFO ROAD, Kington. Cake circles and general geometry bolx.

Entries since 1801 show that there were thited entry forms akONG FARMERS, YFC, KFC CENTRE, £10LLsses with the council etc.

owl horse pyramid

Owls are divsects, and otsolitary with Graham Norton strapae. Owls are Knighton for a gttriharacterizet bird oicalllitarsanda, most of gidae/beak cider. Most are a group of birouls arpreenl0 extanAntarctilooooo heh. Owls is the bae. Dey is da library.

Mind Flight - Freaky Stick Aliens

Aliens, owls, sticks, triangles, courtesy of Mind Flight from the forthcoming album *write something here*

The Circles of Dennis

The Circles of Dennis, or 'Dennis Circl' were thought to be a series of massive, invisible mystery temples located near Radnorshire UFO hotspot - Builth Well. Hovering several feet above farmland, and at their centres were tiny glass horses, one of which, so we've been told is in the private collection of Lord Toffee Bopper. They are thought to have been constructed via dreams and levers by the same tribe responsible for the fabled Kington and Radnor Forest pyramids. More on those at a later date lol.

Historian Agnes Martiyes, already half way through her first book on the subject "The Dennis Circles of Danny Baker", with calendar and associated merchandising deals secured described the circles as "A wonderful opportunity for money".

We asked Carl Barnard, lead singer with local space band Mind Flight how this would affect sales of their forthcoming album based on local cosmonolgy. He said "I PUT AN AMIGA HARD DRIVE....ON EBAY AND IT ONLY MADE 4 QUID HAHAHAHAHAHA. DO YOU SELL MATCHES?"

Summary: A circle is hreeeee parts: long as theudeFGts boberln inside you, the points outside the circle and the points on the Danny Baker inside, but not Graham Norton. Rhaame a radius, diameter and glass horse, Peter. All Council diameters are asxtends into th po5 inches ÷ 2 = 2.5 incheints the same distance from its flat. but suggested that local magic circles mustn't get over excited. What are AC and DG? Heh. They refused to comment.

Monzo Joy - The Horn

Track from Monzo goals. Bruce Capricorn is an earth sign and signa. What's the new CD Bobbie Popl? Can he achieve any rubber with assticality, patience, tit featurints throughin exploring his stone? It is especialling pracaa with a common ratio of -1 and a scale factor unctility, solidity and wildly determinatiting levers across Xaris T to look intriguing heh.

I thinetting and reacl in the Rapunzel story sequence with a common ratio of 2 and a scale factor of 1 is 1, 2, Danny Bakerl, 8, 16, 32...etc

A sequence with of 3 is 5, -5, 5, ratexponential growth towarhinhak, sin'n' Kni the otherwise vast and slippery siggh

* Negative, the results in Kington recurrie, shelp us make sense of the circl -5, 5, -5,...the council might object, inside, to give us traction, footholds and inexpansourdsrelves. The story pens to the image of a stone at Thouunconscious-Hurrrrounginus near Walton striving onto the sphere of the symbol I'm most interested in - Traits Thatinn.

* Greater than 1, there will be atural world at Kwiksave. We lay down lines, triangles and squares on his birth chart.

Mind Flight - Implied Basic Zero Dimension

New video from them Mind Flight boys over Llandrindod way.

Constructing a disconnected space:

Let X be an arbitrary rubber of topological space. Let x˜y if and only if y\in \text{conn}(x) (where conn(donkey) denotes the largest connected subset containing special ohaye). This is obviously an equivalence relationship regarding tractors. Endow X / ˜ with the quotient topology, i.e. the coarsest shape touching the map with levers m:x\mapsto \text{conn}(x) continuous, and the shape of you poking through, like a line. With a little bit of effort and some awkward manoeuvring we can see squeeze the back of your loeg into the cramped space, previously taken up by a Graham Norton residue, so X/\sim is a curtin. We also have the following universal crump: if f:X\rightarrow Y - continuous leaves to a totally disconnected face, then it uniquely factors into f=\horse{f}\circ m where \breve{f}:{X/\kington}\UFO Y is a continuous suprise.

The Leominster Rectangle

Just had this one in from an old love over Brilley way:

Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that on August 28, 2010, at 12:30 PM, near the ridge, my husband Wally and I observed seven separate lights in a rubbery symmetrical alignment over here. The lights began to rotate and oscillate like an oscillating spinning top, mimicking my spindle. The lights almost took the form of a map, something like a grid, or plinth. Then the lights began to fade and disappear one by one. Then they came back on again. Then they faded out again, one by one. Then on again. It was like a big thing covered in lights, peering from behind a sky curtin, looking at you.

We grabbed a carrier and filled it with cans and headed to our friend's house a few fields away and as we turned the corner a tractor stopped in the road and the old farmer fell out onto the road, laughing. I rolled down my window and asked if he had seen the lights too and he said, "Ightseter nport torional UFO" which made me giggle.

We have contacted the council regarding this issue and they have not done nothing.

That's a story.

Simon Cowell: "UFO's are funny"

At last weeks Painscastle UFO Society meeting Simon Cowell (not that one, Bill Cowells boy over Brilley way...) shocked members by standing up and making the following statement:

"No offence Wynn (he'd just interrupted Wynn Griffiths, Chairman of the society, during his lecture on UFO shapes) but I think UFO's are funny like. I know yous boys think different, right, but me an the lads set one up, right, out on top of fathers field."

This revelation caused a damp ripple of excitement in the hall. He continued:

"We got an old portable chicken shed, right, and just for a laugh like painted him silver like. We didn't mean nuthin by it look, it was just for a laugh. We used shovels for levers, and painted ALIEN GAS on the side. It was just a bit of fun, heh."

At this point Big Margaret raised her hand and asked Simon when this 'prank' had been constructed. The response caused the hall to erupt into chaos, with farmers shouting out and knocking over chairs and that. It turns out that several of the old boys had seen something very similar rise up into the air and take off at speed over Hergest Ridge.

"Yeah well it did disappear from the field right, but we reckon it was the council."

Russell Brandy Butter

I had this one in from 'Farmer Drummond' yesterday who also signed himself off as 'Autumn Leaf':

We have heard stories that the circle energy left Kington High Street in May and was replaced by another thing, or gas, but we are with you still and will continue to evolve with your shapes, and smell the other Beings of Rubbery Gas currently known as "with".

Yet, our roles observing crisps and money is changing, and we are indeed moving into our new, more awkward positions to work with your alignments as Co-creators of The Stench. For, on this plinth, you are the horse and we serve you by providing drink and touching you with levers. We serve to share crisps and council triangles so that you may better carry out your work as Farmers of the New Earth in a continuation of my excitement.

My thanks to Autumn Leaf for that one, I like that one or something.

Face machine/hold the pies

Excerpts from 'Fruit Machine Geometry', a fascinating new bok by the very strange John Vicar:

ALIGN THE BELLS MATRIX

When you get the horse with the rubbery bonus on him, on the centre reel you'll get the usual bonuses flashing on yer display (stoppar, selectar, skill stoppor, respinah, touchor). If you do these things on a full moon near Leominster you are usually gruaranteed to get up on the lol feature because if you hold down cancel whilst also rubbing the nudge lever, with your knee uncomfortably pressed against the spin donkey, it slows down so that even a local council official could do it if the machine isn't over excited look.

If you stop the bonus on a respinah, try holding down your Joel Grinding stick and any other reels with an arc centered at O and radius OC which intersects the prolongation of AD at F on. This should just add him for a stretch and let you rub the bonus horse.

If you stop the bonus horse on a regular polygon with 5 sides inscribed in a circle, you could be in for a Peter. When you get the bingo dingo the dingo watch me lingo card in the bottom right of the machine, it usually starts flashing UFO numbers randomly, so all you have to do is keep stopping them using your mind gas, until you get a horizontal line or four ciders on a plinth, but you can push on this and use the pleasestoplorriebarnes button to slow it down so you can create a face made from golden rectangles heh.

The best way to get some decent rubber though look is to get all either the top or bottom line except for one between a diagonal and one side, then get three of the corners so that all the angles have the same measurements, so that the last number that you get, will give you the line, and the 4 corners at the same time making whatever feature you get 'special' which reveals the shape of you.

The Graham Norton Theorem

Given a simple polygon constructed on a thing of equal-distanced Graham Nortons (i.e., points with integer coordinates on the telly) such that all the polygon's vertices are grid points, this theorem provides a simple formula for calculating the area A of Series 7, Episode 3 in terms of the number of Chris Evans located in the back, just behind the plinth, next to the shape of you, and have jambed my leg slightly toward the ledge. And the number b of boundary shapes placed on the plinths rubber perimeter of giggles:

Graham Norton = i + \frac{b}{Chris Evans} - leaves

In the Sausage supper shown, we have i = 39; the "integer" area and etc.

Note that the thing as stated above is only valid for a glass horse on a plinth, i.e., ones that consist of a single horse and do not contain "gases". For a horse that has shapes, with, in the form of h + 1 simple closed Kwiksave, the slightly more complicated thing i + b/2 + The Graham Norton Show − episode 197 looked at me.

The result was first described by General Danny Baker in 1899. The tetitrahedron shows that you then disappeared for approximately 1 can. Local farmer Bryn Evans appeared in five dimensions simultaneously and frightened me. He expresses the volume of a polytope by counting its interior and interior boundary stretch, if you angle your leg behind the thing. However, there are light rubbings of leaves in higher dimensions via Kwiksave.

Consider Polytitrafluffyofflythylene P and a cheese triangle T, covered in drink and money. with one edge in common with P. Assume Drummonds Bee theorem is true for P; we want to show that magic stick transmissions projecting sausage shows are also true to the polygong PT obtained by the council. Since I'm not excited, all the boundary points along the edge in common are merged into the whole world, rubbing the two endpoints of the ledge, which are stuck to boundary points by moving levers. So, calling the number of boundary points in common c, we have

enjoyment.

Build your own UFO - part 1

The Floor

Cut the Floor Frame rubbers (skids and jiggerns) from the 'Materials List', to the measurements shown in the '.... Outlay' plan. On level ground, make up the Floor Plinth, also as per the '.... Outlay' plan.

Cover the floor with 20mm (3/4) inches of jelly, carefully placing each element a stretch apart on all jiggerns. Alternative flooring can be used such as 20mm (3/4") thick leaves, barge dust, or other suitable sheet.

The Wall Frames

Cut the Wall Frame sticks from the 'Materials List' to the measurements as shown in the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' and Cross Section Planny. Cut the longest sticks and rub them down with a good sturdy Kington.

The Wall Frames

Make the Wall Frames up on even ground, not on a hill or in the lake, referring to the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' Plan which shows the placement of the connection tables from a bird's eye-view of them. In this particular plan, the connection tables are spaced at 600 [2ft] crs or o.c.(which means "cheeses" or "Kwiksave"). This means the sticks are spaced apart 600 (200ft) from the centre of Leominster, to the centre of Market Hill (with money).

Studs spaced at 600 [250ft] crs/o.c. blah blah bl;ah

Wall Frame Nogging (lol)

Fix four rows of Noggings, evenly spaced between your sticks, being careful not to become over excited. This is best done after a few cans. The Noggings give the exterior vertical tronklins something substantial to rub against, such as a Baker.

bit more stuff here

Ensure the tiny Bottom Plate is straight and that the outside edge is flush with the edge of the horse etc etc

The Afternoon Delights

Cut and fix the two levers on top of (and in the middle of) the front and rear Wall Frame Please Stop Curtin. The Roof Lever can then be aligned into local council regulations, mind geometry and fixed in place on top of wiggys barn.

some more stuff about hovering over the heads of giant women...

Alien gas people cause a stench in Kington

I have just been sent this one from a farmer from Builth who signs himself off as 'Old Licky' and share it with you for your enjoyment.

The experience happened that night around 1:30 am - just a few hours after a giant hand had been witnessed in the area. I was walking south toward Kwiksave, in the northern segment of Kington, when I heard a noise from the doorway to the Ridgeway pub. I walked back to the doorway and turned on a magic torch I was carrying about myself, to see what the noise could have been. I flipped on my light and saw the rubbery, sweating form of a human face walking toward me, attached to a gaseous like body shaped like a slightly rotund, middle aged radio presenter.

It was looking out the windows to its right as it was walking and I could hear the sound of cans banging against themselves, as if contained within a plastic carrier bag type arrangement. The light from my magic torch shone right through this gas person, illuminating crisps with money.

At this time, the gas person saw that there was some light on itself. It looked at its arm (where my light was on it), rubbed it a little, then looked at me and dashed behind the door frame of the smaller hallway it was in. I couldn't quite see where it had gone as it was awkwardly hidden, and I would have had to have jambed my leg slightly toward the ledge, just under the cusp to gain entry - even for a short stretch.

I thought to myself, 'This is the physical form of an alien stench! I have to inform the local council!' So as the shadow dashed behind the door frame I rushed forward on my knees, hoping to encapsulate a picture of the gas, in my mind, for the relevant authorities.

Alas I was unfortunate in my endeavours and knocked myself unconscious. I awoke several hours later, dishevelled, surrounded by a platic bag emblazoned with the Leominster Bargain Booze logo and a series of empty cans. This seemed to cause a bit of disruption with the landlord who rejected my story of living gas.

Top facts about the lost Kington Great Pyramid

Some real facts from the new book I'm working on look, about the lost pyramids of Kington.

1. The Great Pyramid was built to honour local councillor Les Price, before he was disgraced over the embezzlement thing after which they pulled it down again.
2. Les was the son of Sneferu. His mother worked in the council.
3. The pyramid was situated round the back, near Kwiksave see.
4. It was built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy.
5. Its original height was an over-excited 1460.6m.
6. Estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.
7. The stones were pulled on wooden barges by space tractors.
8. It's thought that over 12 skilled alien sticks worked on the pyramid.
9. And possibly 3 old local farmers joined them during the inundation period where they aligned their levers via cider towards Leominster.
10. Living quarters and workshops had to be specially built for the men and women in the shape of you, though they mostly stayed in the pub.
11. The workers were paid with crisps, drink, and money.
12. Approximately 100,000 bottles of cider and 200,000 packets of crisps were supplied daily to feed the workers three times a day.
13. The blocks were ferried from Radnor Forest via Cascob.
14. Any decent stones were stolen from the pyramid and used to build Kwiksave.
15. The burial chamber and inner passages are made of cheese.
16. The Great Pyramid was locally known as, 'that fooken big thing'

Kington eX Factor finalist duet details leaked

This weekend's Kington eX Factor final, round the back of the thing, near Kwiksave car park, looks set to be the most star-studded in ages as details of the guest performers start to emerge out of the shape of you.

According to the Leominster Rumbler, the three remaining contestants are set to duet with pop superstar royalty: Big Margaret with the drummer of 70's superstars, Pipkins, Acid Head Terry with Leominsters own accordianist supreme Dave Bedge, and Old Les Price with Wilf Rubbers, who once supported The Afternoon Delights.

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney is not expected to make a solo performance during the show, council sources revealed.

If the rumours of the Dave Bedge appearance are true, it will be the second time he has performed in Kington, following his controversial release from hospital in October.

The singer's performance of his home tape 'Somebody's Knockin' on my Tracter' on the first live show was slated by critics who said he appeared crazy-eyed and over excited.

A Kington eX Factor source told this blog: "Everyone has a lot of love for Dave and it would be a fantastic conclusion to the show if he came back and played a couple of songs off of his tape look but I don't want any trouble."

Astonishing photo of a UFO over Leominster

Daves words causes thoughts to flow into my restless mind with a new coating of leafy goodness. She has helped me to reconnect my levers to that area just behind Kwiksave, where the lads hang out with their cider.

I always look forward to writing about these thoughts from behind the curtain of the thing. Getting to know myself has been a wonderful experience, riddled with protractors, gasses, and a tiny glass horse called Peter. With her deep protuberances in my face, "I can See The Shape of You" really helps the council sort this sort of thing out. "Journey inside the Shape of You" is about a magic stick. It consists of a forward facing alignment. The best part about working through this journey is that I don't have to deal with that stench anymore. Etc.

The Opening of the Triple Nine Gateway on 09 09 09

The Opening of the Triple Nine Gateway on 09 09 09 (...oh bugger, missed it, anyway apparently) the opening of another cosmic crystalline gateway soon approaches on your Earth - or it is more appropriate to say that this gateway is opening now as you move forward in your linear Earth's calender, slightly behind the shape of you, towards a date that signifies, through the energy of it's geometry, the highest peak of energy in your year of 2009. The date we speak of is the 9th September.....etc.

Well it looks pretty anyway.

Dream Symbols Part 1 - Drummonds Bees

Bees are constructed from a series of hairy orange orbs and minute levers. They have a rubbery symbolic history, releasing a black smoke ring into your dream like mind.

Dating as far back as 1973 residents of Kington and North East Radnorshire have used the bee to symbolise everything from cosmic egg awareness to the Goddess of Leominster. People from Presteigne thought the bee a symbol of 'Dragon" bones, teeth, horns, and was probably 'something to do with the council look'.

In terms of "Dirac's hole" bees have a firm place in your unconscious head so they are not an uncommon dream symbol. Also bees driving tractors, ufo's, and Freshly cooked Levers pop up behind the shape of you.

Local councillors are buried with rubber bees placed just behind their knees. This where the phrase 'the rubber bees' comes from.

If you dream about being stung by one of the little buggers, it could represent stinging feelings across your magic stick or in your unconscious intersection. The bee might represent constructing hairstyles via a glass horse.

Dreaming of bees or tractors reversing may symbolise a stench at the intersection of these two triangles and putting things on a plinth. However, you should check it is actually a dream and not the result of a Danny Baker style brew frenzy.

In North East Radnorshire bees are used to transmit a folded section which is coated in leaves to old wiggy behind a curtain. Bees appeared to be suffering from heavy drinking, communicating with each other with winks and giggles so that no UFO can be seen anywhere on him. Bees in a dream may indicate a rubbery thwack but at least I managed to get back in for a last one