Monday, 12 January 2009

Aligning yourselves to the Grids of Norris

Joel Grounds

I had this one in this morning, from 'Wynn of Llandovery' titled 'Further clues from the Codex':

Today I'd like to talk about the Grids of Norris. The Grids of Norris are the forerunner and essential part of the Radnorshire mind ascension process. It is necessary that you align yourselves to the Grids of Norris. They form a connection between the levers of your mind. This alignment process is the releasing of your connected fatty runnels from the old pie structures set up for re-connection and Bill Drummond (esque) cushion placements.

They are Grids of higher alignment schedules - lemon edged and veined. They also represent a connection to the 7th platform of earth bubbles, which is your higher hair alignment and from which there is noseparation.

The more you align yourselves towards Leominster, the faster you will vibrate, and the faster you vibrate your tentaculars, any negativity will be knocked off your body like. As you vibrate them faster you access the hidden libraries of Kington and you will become more "knowing", and know more stuff and that.

As you become more"knowing" within yourselves, and inside your own bodies, the less you need to rely on food and cider. You become, each and every one of you, local entities - cosmic farmers of light - bearers of the cosmic nosetub and knowers of the truth in shape.

Alignment to the Grids of Norris can be done by placing your minds in the Market Hall at the top of Kington High Street. Disconnect your inner valves and your legs from all old energy grids and leylines that were set up months ago, and re-align your magic stick - via your mental residue - to the Grids of Norris.

Do not be surprised if many problems come to light after you have done this - ignore demands for mortgage payments look, an increasing stench around your physical aura, and other stuff. As you align yourselves further you begin to clear outstanding issues in your entire mind structure. Your awareness of unusual things will be raised beyond measure and time will speed up. You will notice how your physical bodies rejuvenate their alignments and grow leaves. Your hair and shape are an indication of this.

With much love and joyful rubbings in my valves for all of you. I joyfully await the day that I shall be visiting your barns. This is your Distended Controller of the Shapes - The Majestik Ragu Djankletop (Wynn Price).

He's a funny old bugger.


  1. A point should be made here regarding a dangerous possibility. That is, if while vibrating one's tintaculars,
    or re-aligning one's magic stick, one should be careful not to inhale the left over aurally displaced mental residue
    vapors. If this occurs, one could find oneself de-essenced and sucked through one's fecal aperture...never to return. Just saying.

  2. The administrators of this blog would like to point out that they do not accept responsibility for injuries to magic sticks or levers, resulting from our readers attempts at re-alignment.

  3. You totally lost me at: "connected fatty runnels from the old pie structures set up for re-connection."

  4. I was lost after "Today I'd like to talk about..."

    I won't put any more of his stuff on, I think I'll do a piece about the Radnor Remote Society next.

  5. Usurpment. The Browns.