U.F.O.s with TENTACLES -VERY RARE ANIMAL LOOKING SHAPES

Had this report in from David Rodney:

Shape 1, or 'pointy'

Noisy, "sky tractor" moving slowly with him.

Hello: I look at the sky a lot, am an amateur astronomer, rubbings etc. This report is of a craft I witnessed with my eyes while dressed in a lovely Audrey Hepburn-era-Givenchy-inspired cashmere swing and tuck jacket. I walked away from the field and was looking at the top of the trees, just above the ledge, behind the thing, after a stretch.

Shape 2, cheese triangle

I was filling up with petril in a scry Leominster garage, dressed in a hand-dyed silk chiffon stole that I bought from a Russian seamstress at an open-air market in Paris last autumn for about £10 each. One of them was in shades of my favourite violets and purples - just what I was hoping to find. Sigh. Anyway, the UFO thing...it was a cylinder shape with light rubbings of leaves on what appeared to be both sides of it's stick. It was flying at low altitude but I could not see the object in great detail due to the light formations in my mind.

Object was in view for approx. 10-5 seconds, then disappeared for approximately 1 can. Object reappeared for a further 3-5 seconds, South. Disappeared for an additional 0.5 can, then reappeared behind Danny Baker on 11/16/99 approx. 5 miles south of Leominster Kwiksave,KY, estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.

Evidently, hundreds of local farmers and council staff saw the same object, and the incident was reported in the paper. Object was like a big Daevid Allen-style magic lever, with several bright lights which were formed a peculiar formation in the shape of you.

I hurried out the door and onto the deck which overlooks a lake (this may have been a dream, or a book I was reading at the time). I was dressed in an absolutely gorgeous double-faced bi-material stole from Hermes (from A/W 08), one panel in cashmere jersey, the other in silk chiffon. Luxe + luxe = uber-luxe. Oooh. Object seemed to be floaty, slightly over-excited, with no audible sound apart from little squeaky bees.

The answer was yes. We asked if any weather ballons had been released. The answer-no.

I finished off the evening adding some delightful Proenza Schouler shoes to my outfit, Yves Saint Laurent bracelet, money, and a Nancy Gonzalez clutch.

Please advise if any other information exists relative to my experience.

ALIEN BASES ON THE MOON

There is a big old alien farm complex on the far side of Leominster. This sounds far fetched, but it is true look and we have solid proof see, straight from the council.

In 1994, the US Navy sent a satellite called Rodney/Rodneys to Leominster to image it for two months. During that time, the satellite took 211.8 million images. Out of those images, 456,170,000 images were made available to locals. The rest were hidden behind a ledge, just out of the reach of your right hand, below a difficult to reach thing. Classified gas cannisters?

Within the 2345,56,000 images available, there are many obviously censored images of incredibly massive local structures, several of these are built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy. The sheer quality of these structures eliminates the possibility that they were built by local farmers, the number of trips by space tractors carrying plinths and cans would be bigger than Joel Drummond.

Here are the links to the images. Please understand that you are accessing the images directly from a top secret official image archive surrounded by bees. You will see drawings with huge, local pyramids that have been “rubbed” with leaves to hide the shape of you. I will give a brief description of each old cider alignment.

UFO garage, like a garage:

[click here]

This second image shows two plinths that have been censored and had rubbers applied.

[click here]

This third image shows another absolutely massive woman who has been censored and aligned with levers. Here it is:

[click here]

This fourth image is my favourite heh. Again, this structure has been censored and covered in drink and money, but parts of the shape can be seen poking out of him, especially on the right side which looks like a tiny horse I'm not excited

it will take steps:

Unexplained sheep attacks caused by aliens in UFOs claim experts

More Radnor Forest shenanigans: County Times report

The lights kept changing shape see and emitting beams of light and small leaves that covered large areas of distance in a tinkle of cans. At times the spheres would morph into the shape of you, firing beams of love to the ground and discharging a gaseous stench that darted backwards and forwards across the valley floor as though they were looking for something they had left behind, just the previous Tuesday...

Mystery temples located by wacko radar

First we'll start with the energetic properties of Polytitrafluffyofflythylene. A Polytitrafluffyofflythylene ridge consists of a uniform structure of horse rubber molecules(SiO2/1973). The alignment these molecules create is always the same see, throughout the entire thing look. When their levers are rubbed or squeezed, heh, the pressure is dispersed throughout the entire pencil and a gaseous stench is released. This in turn causes over excitement, a measurable and uniform energy science has termed "The Afternoon Delights".

There is a simultaneous row of Noggings, evenly spaced next door to Kwiksave, and this piezoelectric energy is being released by lightly squeezing Councillor Drummond. The blinblinlibblylilibblyli energy is uniform like a whole stretch. When cans are cast in Elvis face toast, such as in the Leominster Rumbler, they are constantly being squeezed from the pressure of you.

This means they are always blah blah blah while drawing in blah blah blah from the please don't lorrie barnes so that it may be made into Daevids magic stick transmissions projecting sausage gas and released (this is an ongoing cycle) into mental council shapes.

The All Day Breakfast UFO Toolbox

Useful toolbox for all day breakfast fun. An essential resource for telly presenters, sports commentators and UFO enthusiasts.

Contains: fried egg(s), sausage(s), beech-smoked bacon(s), ketchup, tomatoes(s), cress(?) and seasoning on wholegrain Elvis face toast. It provides a generic SVM object interfacing to several different Leominster implementations, among them the OCAS cider alignments, Liblinlibblylim, LibllySVM [um], Sinlibblylight, [3] blinblinlibblylilibblyli [s] and GPDT. Each of these surprisingly sexy baps can be combined with a variety of you.

This is an extremely naughty sandwich and not for the faint-hearted! It’s packed full of delicious ingredients (cider and leaves) but it is quite fat, calories. heh. Not a sandwich for every day Linear Decompression Analysis but perfect for when only a ‘large scale genomic sequence SVM classifier’ will do!

EAT WITH YOUR HEAD
SESAME FREE
DANNY FREE
SVM FREE

Available now from the Department of Automatic Control

Build your own UFO - part 1

The Floor

Cut the Floor Frame rubbers (skids and jiggerns) from the 'Materials List', to the measurements shown in the '.... Outlay' plan. On level ground, make up the Floor Plinth, also as per the '.... Outlay' plan.

Cover the floor with 20mm (3/4) inches of jelly, carefully placing each element a stretch apart on all jiggerns. Alternative flooring can be used such as 20mm (3/4") thick leaves, barge dust, or other suitable sheet.

The Wall Frames

Cut the Wall Frame sticks from the 'Materials List' to the measurements as shown in the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' and Cross Section Planny. Cut the longest sticks and rub them down with a good sturdy Kington.

The Wall Frames

Make the Wall Frames up on even ground, not on a hill or in the lake, referring to the 'Wall Frame shapes of you' Plan which shows the placement of the connection tables from a bird's eye-view of them. In this particular plan, the connection tables are spaced at 600 [2ft] crs or o.c.(which means "cheeses" or "Kwiksave"). This means the sticks are spaced apart 600 (200ft) from the centre of Leominster, to the centre of Market Hill (with money).

Studs spaced at 600 [250ft] crs/o.c. blah blah bl;ah

Wall Frame Nogging (lol)

Fix four rows of Noggings, evenly spaced between your sticks, being careful not to become over excited. This is best done after a few cans. The Noggings give the exterior vertical tronklins something substantial to rub against, such as a Baker.

bit more stuff here

Ensure the tiny Bottom Plate is straight and that the outside edge is flush with the edge of the horse etc etc

The Afternoon Delights

Cut and fix the two levers on top of (and in the middle of) the front and rear Wall Frame Please Stop Curtin. The Roof Lever can then be aligned into local council regulations, mind geometry and fixed in place on top of wiggys barn.

some more stuff about hovering over the heads of giant women...

Alien gas people cause a stench in Kington

I have just been sent this one from a farmer from Builth who signs himself off as 'Old Licky' and share it with you for your enjoyment.

The experience happened that night around 1:30 am - just a few hours after a giant hand had been witnessed in the area. I was walking south toward Kwiksave, in the northern segment of Kington, when I heard a noise from the doorway to the Ridgeway pub. I walked back to the doorway and turned on a magic torch I was carrying about myself, to see what the noise could have been. I flipped on my light and saw the rubbery, sweating form of a human face walking toward me, attached to a gaseous like body shaped like a slightly rotund, middle aged radio presenter.

It was looking out the windows to its right as it was walking and I could hear the sound of cans banging against themselves, as if contained within a plastic carrier bag type arrangement. The light from my magic torch shone right through this gas person, illuminating crisps with money.

At this time, the gas person saw that there was some light on itself. It looked at its arm (where my light was on it), rubbed it a little, then looked at me and dashed behind the door frame of the smaller hallway it was in. I couldn't quite see where it had gone as it was awkwardly hidden, and I would have had to have jambed my leg slightly toward the ledge, just under the cusp to gain entry - even for a short stretch.

I thought to myself, 'This is the physical form of an alien stench! I have to inform the local council!' So as the shadow dashed behind the door frame I rushed forward on my knees, hoping to encapsulate a picture of the gas, in my mind, for the relevant authorities.

Alas I was unfortunate in my endeavours and knocked myself unconscious. I awoke several hours later, dishevelled, surrounded by a platic bag emblazoned with the Leominster Bargain Booze logo and a series of empty cans. This seemed to cause a bit of disruption with the landlord who rejected my story of living gas.

Magic Stick, from 'The Fontana Cafe' by Mind Flight

Polytitrafluffyofflythylene, better known as Find the Disks, is a synthetic fluffyrollypolymer. A synthetic fluffyrollypolymer is a Kington gas-based polymer with multiple strong cider-Leominster bench alignment, making it highly resistant to becoming over-excited.

The Roy Plunkett-Bends discovery

Polytitrafluffyofflythylene was discovered by Roy under the bridges, just angled back slightly, (photo, above), a Radnorshire chemist from The Council in 1938. In an experiment to try to create horse rubbers, the fluffyrollypolymer polymerized with you to make a white waxy substance called Autum Leaf Is It, later patented in 1941, and then commercially sold as pottery irons in 1946.

The sound of Polytitrafluffyofflythylene



Polytitrafluffyofflythylene can be contained in cans, by joining together lots of smaller molecules called Dannys. Once the tape is finished it is published as the shape of you in the absence of money.

Message from Shakti Yoghurt

I had this one in from someone called the 'Great Shakti Yoghurt', Builth.

Because of the many types of crisps that are available in the shape of a horse, and the many uses for your money amongst the wondrous Grids of Norris, you should make certain that you are using the proper drink for each of your things.

Your internal mind curtains should only be assembled with either rigid CPVC, or old cider alignments, both of which are safe for Aberystwyth supplies, but it is not accepted by code in all hahaha areas.

Your magic stick is useful for following Drummonds Bees that lead into the Fontana Cafe, whose strength, light weight, gaseous stench and durability make it ideal for a Bill Drummond interior and exterior over excitement.

Mark your leaves with a pencil or felt-tipped rubber.

Use a scrap piece of money to raise your leg just behind the back of the ledge, just beneath the Ridge, awkwardly behind her, but a high number of teeth per inch will make a perfectly square leak-proof hinge. Lightly smooth the ends of you with 120-grit sandpaper.

heh, sounds like the Gaffer

Boring Bob, Llandrindod Wells

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Big Margaret recommended this one.

Alchemy of Nine Dimensions: Decoding the Vertical Axis, Crop Circles, and the Mayan Calendar

Astrologer and researcher Barbara Hand Clow presents the long awaited sequel to her bestselling The Pleiadian Agenda which has sold over 70,000 copies. The latest work investigates the scientific implications of her communications with the Pleiadians and presents a nine-dimensional picture of our galaxy along with meditations for accessing each level. In this new book, Hand Clow proposes startling new implications of the end date for the Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012. Each chapter opens with a meditation designed to help readers integrate the material in their everyday lives.

Top facts about the lost Kington Great Pyramid

Some real facts from the new book I'm working on look, about the lost pyramids of Kington.

1. The Great Pyramid was built to honour local councillor Les Price, before he was disgraced over the embezzlement thing after which they pulled it down again.
2. Les was the son of Sneferu. His mother worked in the council.
3. The pyramid was situated round the back, near Kwiksave see.
4. It was built mostly of stones, mud, leaves and gas, and covered in a sort of rubber nappy.
5. Its original height was an over-excited 1460.6m.
6. Estimated volume = 2,521,000 cu m.
7. The stones were pulled on wooden barges by space tractors.
8. It's thought that over 12 skilled alien sticks worked on the pyramid.
9. And possibly 3 old local farmers joined them during the inundation period where they aligned their levers via cider towards Leominster.
10. Living quarters and workshops had to be specially built for the men and women in the shape of you, though they mostly stayed in the pub.
11. The workers were paid with crisps, drink, and money.
12. Approximately 100,000 bottles of cider and 200,000 packets of crisps were supplied daily to feed the workers three times a day.
13. The blocks were ferried from Radnor Forest via Cascob.
14. Any decent stones were stolen from the pyramid and used to build Kwiksave.
15. The burial chamber and inner passages are made of cheese.
16. The Great Pyramid was locally known as, 'that fooken big thing'

Graham Norton shaped UFO over Herefordshire - day 23

We heard reports from Big Margaret that a UFO in the shape of Bill Drummond, the telley presenter, was spotted hovering over some farms around Herefordshire following old cider alignments. There was no sound, though the clanking of cans could be heard, maybe this was the auto-drive energy compartment or somebody moving his levers.

The council have said it's "nothing to do with us look". We are trying to locate photographs of this incident, so please send them in here now if you have any now look if you can be bothered.

UFO Sightings 2009 Orb Triangle

UFO shapes in the air, buzzing around a giant space telescope operated by tiny men. Wavy hand camera operation cannot ruin the fact that this is a brilliant film of over-excited alien bees.

Kington eX Factor finalist duet details leaked

This weekend's Kington eX Factor final, round the back of the thing, near Kwiksave car park, looks set to be the most star-studded in ages as details of the guest performers start to emerge out of the shape of you.

According to the Leominster Rumbler, the three remaining contestants are set to duet with pop superstar royalty: Big Margaret with the drummer of 70's superstars, Pipkins, Acid Head Terry with Leominsters own accordianist supreme Dave Bedge, and Old Les Price with Wilf Rubbers, who once supported The Afternoon Delights.

Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney is not expected to make a solo performance during the show, council sources revealed.

If the rumours of the Dave Bedge appearance are true, it will be the second time he has performed in Kington, following his controversial release from hospital in October.

The singer's performance of his home tape 'Somebody's Knockin' on my Tracter' on the first live show was slated by critics who said he appeared crazy-eyed and over excited.

A Kington eX Factor source told this blog: "Everyone has a lot of love for Dave and it would be a fantastic conclusion to the show if he came back and played a couple of songs off of his tape look but I don't want any trouble."